BM wooing DH's family?? Huh???

I don't know if any of you have experienced this and have any idea as to what's motivating BM's latest shenanigans. If you have, please share.

BM got a decent full-time job, in the same industry as DH and located one street away from where he currently works.

Anyway, since then, she's been trying to get him to have lunch with her. She's been trying to get DH's sister's husband to have lunch with her because he works close by too. She's been the first to wish DH's brother "Happy Birthday" (even before anyone else, as he reported to his mother, my MIL) and is calling him "bro". She has invited DH's entire family to her brother's upcoming wedding. She invited DH, myself, kids and DH's parents, to her father's 60th birthday party.

So far, both DH and his BIL haven't told BM "No" outright. BIL said he just isn't going to answer her email and she'll get the message. DH doesn't want to tell her "No" either, for reasons I cannot figure out, perhaps to maintain civility, I don't know... It makes me uncomfortable, for sure, knowing that he won't clearly draw that line.

What the HECK is going on? What is going through this woman's mind, making her think that ANY of us want to voluntarily spend time with her and her family? We would most certainly make the effort for anything directly relating to the kids, but this is so absurd.

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I would tell everyone to

I would tell everyone to answer with the simple response, "Thank you for the invitation but I/We already have plans".

BM tried this when SD was a

:?
BM tried this when SD was a newborn. Her scheme was "I invite them to event X for my family, they HAVE to invite me to event Y for theirs." She also tried to get in good with DH's sister and then have said sister spy on DH and I (reporting back any conflict or mishap...). Everyone saw through her bull a few months into it when she *demanded* that she be invited to the annual reunion for DH's SM's family (said that SD couldn't be there otherwise, knowing DH wanted to introduce his daughter to everyone). When we announced our engagement, the entire family started clapping (they all love me) and BM stood there doing a fish impression ( :O ) then started shrieking that I was never allowed to touch her child, how dare DH do this to her, I would never be a part of SD's life... did I mention this was all in front of DH's STEPmom's family? While standing next to his SM's SM? Yeah... I definitely got to enjoy watching BM get the telling off of her life. }:) Never invited herself to anything again, though she did show up at my BD's birth... that's a whole different story.

Could your BM have a similar motive? Trying to get a spy on the inside or inject herself back into DH's family? If so, be careful with anyone who seems to be accepting her advances! SIL and I still haven't recovered our relationship, and probably never will, from what I found out she told BM. I simply can't trust the woman. I agree with Anne that a simple, rehearsed response from family members is best. Hope your BM backs off (or makes a fool of herself like mine did) soon!