BM lies on military document .. working out a game plan!
DH contacted BM's commanding officer again today because she is refusing to cover her share of travel costs.
The chief asked him, "Oh, is this for the President's Day weekend trip?"
Huh? :?
DH said he didn't know anything about a February trip, that this is in relation to the April trip.
Chief says "I have a chit right here for travel to Maryland on President's Day weekend to execute required visitation with children's father. I approved it because I thought she was court ordered to bring them."
BM never told us she was coming to MD, let alone that DH would have visitation with the kids that weekend (not that he would refuse the opportunity) .. she is, without a doubt, coming to see her boyfriend. She is required to give notice of travel within 7 days of the trip, so I guess we'll see what she does.
I'm just trying to come up with a good game plan on how to handle this one!
My military question is whether she can get in trouble for lying on the chit .. I'm not sure that they're very "official" documents, but a blatant lie has to be a no-no, right?
Hmm .. that's
Hmm .. that's interesting.
She's in Texas for C-school .. DH was under the impression that the Chief had a written form where she documented her reason. He said he "had it in front of him" .. so maybe it was more of a personal note to himself?
I'm not as concerned about
I'm not as concerned about her lying on the military form .. I'm more interested to see if she actually informs DH of the trip (as she's required to per the custody agreement).
I can't imagine the girls would keep this trip quiet .. if they know they're coming to MD, they'd assume they'll see DH .. but it's possible she's just keeping it a secret until they get to the airport.
SMof2, please don't take this
SMof2, please don't take this the wrong way.
But why does your DH need to involve the military chain of command to intervene with BM? Especially if it isn't a significantly serious issue like health or safety of kids.
FWIW, commanders and enlisted leaders hate having people call and drag them into this kind of stuff. Partially because they know that in the civilian world, people don't call up employers and expect them to intervene if two parents/adults can't come to agreement on child visitation, etc.
All I'm saying is please think twice before calling up the military leadership. If BM isn't breaking any kind of health or safety, child support or mandated child visitation court orders then there really isn't anything the military can do.
As dtzy said, military people can take leave for whatever reason they want - and it's not identified on the leave form/system. Furthermore, her chief could actually get officially slapped for telling your DH anything at all about her leave schedule or reasons for it. It's none of your DH's business.
If DH has issues with BM and the kids, then the appropriate place to work that out is in the civil court system or with counselors.
After all, the main mission and purpose of military commanders is to take care of the troops so they can defend the nation. For all you know, BM's chief may be telling her every single time your DH calls - because she could have told him to expect your DH to call "whining" I've seen that happen plenty of times.
As I said in my statement, as
As I said in my statement, as long as the military member isn't breaking a law ...
I am very familiar with the UCMJ and the difference between it and the civilian sector jurisdiction. Very familiar.
I am also very well versed in the Privacy Act - which means the chief should not be telling anyone over the phone, her ex or not, when she is scheduled to go on leaave and what her plans are.
I'm not defending BM in any way here - she sounds like a piece of work. But I do think it bears mentioning that using the military chain of command isn't the answer to all problems.
And by the way, you DO have a right to your personal opinion about issues when you are not on duty, not in uniform and it is clear the opinions are yours alone. Just look at a copy of any Army/Air Force/Navy/Marine Corps Times newspapers - they are filled with commentary and letters to the editor.