I posted yesterday in the Adult Stepchildren Forum dealing with boyfriends daughters. I am amazed at how big of a problem stepfamilies are. Families are not meant to be broken and the children suffer the damage. But we women or men who take on the task because we love the parent are in dangerous territory and very brave! I need to relate my first experience as a stepmother was a positive one. I was 21 when I married the father of my children who was older and had an 11 year old daughter. I was young and did not come from a divorced home so I had no clue. She was the sweetest little thing and at almost 40 still is! I just sent her a message letting her know I didn't realize my experience was a rare one. Her dad and I are divorced, bgut we still keep in touch, she still sends me Mother's Day cards and gifts. In fact, she is the only one in my life who has ever sent me flowers-ha. So I just want to say it is possible to have good relationships. She shared that when her mom married she felt he was stealing her mother, but is very thankful now for him because he has been so good to her. At 11, her little world was crowded with my son and two more to follow. Her Christmases became smaller. Her dad, who used to make it a point to do special things with her became busier. She never was rude or unkind. I don't know what the key is. Maybe before marriage the whole family should enter counseling. Please be careful if you are entering a blended family to realize it can obviously from all the posts here become a living hell. My first experience a good one, but I think I'll run from this other. So many kids are not taught well and insecurities can come out as extreme meanness and vindictiveness even with seemingly intelligent independent grown children who are so very sweet and welcoming at first. I read an article that said the problem is not with you so don't take it personally, but it's hard not to when they use you as target practice! God Luck to everyone. It's a hard task to step parent and mny heart goes out to all of you!