I view StepTalk as the thing that saved me. When I encountered the true wrath his children held against me by not default, but with their biological's special blessings of twisted warping, I was so utterly, terribly lost. It was this site that saved my sanity. I'm a Scorpio, and I am loyal forever. So StepTalk, I'm sorry, is my home.

I have realized that much of what I am going through now and much of what I feel complelled to say does not actually have all that much to do with the shennanigans of princessandthepee. The mission statement of my clinic is the very same thing I believed in then and still do now. However, it has been my demise. Everything I did was built upon trust and there are people who will play your fucking deck out and smirk as they leave the table with stacks of chips.

And you're left holding the responsibility of all that others have done. These are the things most salient to me now.

I do have what I view now as only funny stories about princess and the pree. If I had had one single notion of what paradise life was when I thought the worst that could happen were his children, I would be on Cloud #9 right now. I would throw myself upon the earth, look at the moon and thank God for his benevellance.

Alas, life is such that whatever your worst fear is is what will come true.

I've totally lost my shit on this site, don't know who said it that way, but I like it. Lost my shit, into the abyiss of shit. I've been hesitating to jump into the cesspool and didn't allow myself to understand that I had already been pushed into it.

My heart is not behind the princess and pee stories anymore, because no longer view them as very important. The strength of this site is its accessibility, it's welcoming presence for those who see no island to swim toward. I so fully appreciate this, it really did save me. And so many certain individuals who reached out to me month after month despite my lack of wherewithall to recripocriate. They made friendships with me, they were caring and diligent.

What I did, finally, was find a writing site. A place to let the words just fly.

I've written for the past year of things occurred, and almost all them were not actually posted. I always thought it was just me, especially when I was being flagged, I don't know why, for my goddamn fucking inappriate cunt oriented language.

I am going to post this before it goes away.