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The flip-flop

bewitched's picture

Calling the attorney will have to wait-my son is here, getting ready to leave today. His perspective-he's never seen anyone, in his entire life, with the emotional hills and valleys like H.
My son said he thought Christmas went real well, and like me, doesn't understand what in the world was going on Friday that H would treat me like he did. Now today h is all sunlite and roses-wants to take off and take me to the beach. Yeah. Like that's where we went to get married-and H was so awful we didn't even sleep together our wedding night.

Anyway, postponing the attorney call till my son leaves. He's been thru enough of H's crap-just want to have a few peaceful hours with him.

Good thing-thru spending the evening on the computer, I found not one-but two job openings! One is full time w/FSA, 30 miles from here. The other is parttime secretary for an attorney. You can bet I have already mailed my resumes and cover letters.

Thank you all for your support during this time. My bff and I had a long talk last nite-she said I've aged so much in the last months (skin looks shallow, hair lackluster).

I'm really praying for the job at the attorneys office. I know it's parttime-but wouldn't it be great to work, at this time, where the law is your job?

Comments

Sia's picture

it sounds like your DH might be bipolar.....

northernsiren's picture

I am so happy to hear about the job openings!!! Biggrin All that is possible to cross is crossed for you now, I "hear" hope in your post, and that's a beautiful thing. Keep us posted!!!!

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

As I said, H is all sunlite and roses today. Now he's suggesting that I take my son and head for the beach (only 1,000 miles away). At his expense.

OMG, it's the mountain, Friday and Sat. the valleys. Of course I'm not going to do that (tho I would love to, and never ever come back). But I know that if I did, when the next valley hits-my son and I would both have hell to pay.

Living like this---is like living with Jekyl and Hyde.

northernsiren's picture

Cycle of violence

Main articles: Cycle of violence and cycle of abuse

Frequently, domestic violence is used to describe specific violent and overtly abusive incidents, and legal definitions will tend to take this perspective. However, when violent and abusive behaviours happen within a relationship, the effects of those behaviours continue after these overt incidents are over. Advocates and counsellors will refer to domestic violence as a pattern of behaviours, including those listed above.

Lenore Walker presented the model of a Cycle of Violence which consists of three basic phases:

Honeymoon Phase

Characterized by affection, apology, and apparent end of violence. During this stage the batterer feels overwhelming feelings of remorse and sadness. Some batterers walk away from the situation, while others shower their victims with love and affection.

Tension Building Phase
Characterized by poor communication, tension, fear of causing outbursts. During this stage the victims try to calm the batterer down, to avoid any major violent confrontations.

Acting-out Phase
Characterized by outbursts of violent, abusive incidents. During this stage the batterer attempts to dominate his/her partner(victim), with the use of domestic violence.

Although it is easy to see the outbursts of the Acting-out Phase as abuse, even the more pleasant behaviours of the Honeymoon Phase serve to perpetuate the abuse. See also the cycle of abuse article.
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Copied out of wiki, searched domestic violence. There is a ton of useful reading out there on a variety of sites about this, plus mental illness, BPD, and domestic violence. The sum total though, as far as I am concerned, is that your marriage should be your safe harbor in the storm of life, not the epicenter....

You're in my thoughts bewitched, I really wish you all the best...

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein