I was a sm for 8 years and made MANY mistakes. I know what you sm's are going through and it is NEVER an easy road. I also have my own kids. I am the kind of person who is able to see both sides to most issues, and can often (while I don't agree) see why someone would do or believe what they believe. Often when I read a post here, I find myself feeling sorry for the skid. Sometimes with good reason, and sometimes because the kid is just simply stuck between a rock and a hard place and it's really no one's fault. I am pretty intuitive about things in general, especially about my kids. I see them all day long, as I homeschool them and work from home. But I missed something...

I was in a relationship for almost two years. We are still friends, and while I don't agree with many things he does and the way he parents, he is a decent person. My kids liked him okay. It was typical, I guess, nothing really major happened that I should be concerned about. My son went through a "phase" and I thought it was because he was going through puberty. But I've noticed since my ex and I broke up, he has gone back to his old self again. I mean, it is a STARK contrast to the behavior from the past year or so. It happened for a short while when we broke up before, but I just figured it was coincidence. But this time...the second time...it's not coincidental. I'm saying this just to say that even when we are LOOKING for clues from our kids, and asking them if everything is good, etc. they might not tell you or even KNOW what to tell you. We need to remember that divorce affects kids and so do new relationships, more than we will ever know. My kids are good kids, highly intelligent, very active, etc. they are not "troubled" or "troublemakers." But sometimes when I read stories on here, and the skids are going through SO many adjustments and the sm is at the end of her rope, it is easy to see how this happens. I think I'm done dating. It just isn't worth it!