Tenn Girl Pickup - Update
The deed is done.
Thanks to everyone here who added their wisdom and encouragement.
The deets:
Her brother ran up to the door and started knocking. From inside she asked who it was. When she recognized her brother's voice, she opened the door. I walked in, smiled warmly, and complimented her for checking before opening the door.
In response she turned her back to me and crickets chirped.
So I switched into my President of the World, I've got F-16s to Dispatch and Congressmen to Frighten manner and went about my business. I did not ask her if she needed help or tell her to get her shoes on. I dealt with her brother and some paperwork and made a quick phone call, all in my Presidential Persona.
When her brother was ready to go, she heard the door open and scurried out to follow us.
I said two more things to her: "Don't you have a suitcase?" (Oops! Yeah! **scurry back to apt**) and "Lock up for your Mom."
Proceeded to have a pleasant drive back playing driving games with her brother and showing him how the gears shift.
Called my DH from my bathroom at home to let him know he could breathe. 
Obviously, that's a typo.
Obviously, that's a typo. Supposed to say "Teen" Girl Pickup
Ha ha! I wasn't sure if it
Ha ha! I wasn't sure if it was a real post or spam for online dating.
Hahahaha!
Hahahaha!
Good job!
Good job!
Thanks!
Thanks!
Thank you, Tommar. Yes, if BM
Thank you, Tommar. Yes, if BM didn't want me there she could easily have conveyed that to DH. She didn't do that because she likes me almost as much DH and SS12 do. Or she could have made sure her kid was out on the curb waiting for me. But she took none of those steps. Autistic SS needs constant supervision -- no way in hell would she want me wandering around the parking lot while he ran amok left to his own devices. And Teen Girl has her own issues. All well known to all three of us adults.
Really, get over yourself. BM
Really, get over yourself. BM would be my freakin' lunch buddy if I would let her. This is none of your business. She knows her kids well enough. She knows they need that much supervision. You're trying to light a flame where there is no tinder. Cut it out.
As a matter of fact, I don't.
As a matter of fact, I don't. But that has nothing to do with me picking up her kids, getting them packed, etc. etc. etc. etc. Furthermore, just because I don't like it doesn't mean I don't allow it or treat her anything like a guest in my home and the revered mother of my husband's kids.
Things are fine between this BM and me. She likes me. She put me on the school authorized picker up list. She invites me to the IEPs and other teacher conferences.
I am polite to her 100% of the time. And she me.
Like every other person on this site, I vent here when I feel like it.
It wasn't the fact BM was in
It wasn't the fact BM was in OP's home. It was because BM came in, arms loaded with junk and meaning to or not, tried to control the meals and snacks in the opposite home.
Just because some families have boundaries and strong feelings about exs being in their homes, does not mean these two ladies do or should. For Petes sake, OP picked up BM's dog , is keeping it while BM is gone and even seeing to it the dog goes to the groomers. Did I mention BM also left a check on the table for OP.
Not all parents/stepparents can get along and/or trust each other like this. these two ladies can. So what's your problem with that.
Thank you very much. It is
Thank you very much. It is very nice to feel the support again. You understood that old post very well and I appreciate your summarizing it here so well.
IMHO the right to set
IMHO the right to set boundaries is earned. If the blended family opposition and Skids are toxic then I recognize no boundaries they may attempt to set but will implement, defend, and enforce any boundaries I chose to set.
If they are reasonable and respectful then I respect their boundaries.
Yep, double standard at its finest I know but that is how my bride and I have played the blended family game with the shallow and polluted end of my Skid's gene pool.
BM's mom dying is irrelevant IMHO if prior to that death her behavior was toxic. I have no sympathy for toxic idiots and I will serve them what they have earned by their behavior regardless of what is happening in their lives. Parental deaths, foreclosures, arrests, additional divorces, etc.. I don't give a shit. They reap what they sew and I have no issues with being the one to make sure they reap according to their behavior.
The mom comes in my house
The mom comes in my house every flippin' week. I have been in her house a thousand times. She knows damn well if I don't follow the kids in, they will sit there till they rot.
And she left a check for me to pick up on her kitchen table (for her dog groomer).
Did I mention I frighten congressman today? I was doing a favor for a woman who trusts me and needed some help today due to a death in her family. It's a bit much for you to enter the thread with a hostility the BM herself doesn't even feel.
Feels good to have context
Feels good to have context given to this crazy commenter. It's a real "ahhhhh" Calgon moment! Thank you!
If someone was not aware of
If someone was not aware of the background as posted in your previous Thread then they would not know that you are on good terms with the BM. She can be forgiven can't she?
Sounds like all your fears were for naught. She was packed and ready to go.
Not sure which you are
Not sure which you are referring to but she did post on today's earlier thread.
And SD15 was not really ready, she scurried around when she realized I meant business and was not going to take any crap as everyone here kindly advised. My fears were shared by her father and pretty sure by her mother. It was an air of authority and no-nonsense that prevailed.
Ahh the drill instructor in
Ahh the drill instructor in basic camp. Pretty formidable.
Yes!
Yes!