That totally sucks, and it's just plain rude of your DH, he should honor the date with you and explain to SS, I have plans but I have such and such evening free. Ugh, I guess he figures easier to piss you off than SS, I'm so sorry he's doing this. Can you get up a girl's evening out right quick, don't stay home. Send him on his way, hey DH go have fun with SS, I'm heading out as well, see ya when I get back.

I agree with the others. So NOT right, and I can't tell you how long DH would be in the doghouse if he pulled something like that with me! Like clydella says, call up the girls, and plan your own night! Even if it is something as innocent as going for coffee and dinner with a girlfriend or something...don't let him leave you sitting around the house! Send out the message that you don't need him to be happy! Yeah, that often worries them when they fear you can actually have a life without them!

Let me add on the topic of not letting the step steal your happiness...

SD15 claims to want to be a dancer. However, she never eats right, hardly exercises, etc. SD15 tried to get DH to put her in this $200+/month contemporary dance class, and he told her no. This was partially because it wasn't in the budget, and partially because I wasn't willing to drive her back and forth to said class, and DH can't take that much time off of work. The school that SD15 was insisting on was all the way on the other side of the city. Now, she was offered a school that was close by and less expensive (a friend of ours sends her girls there), and SD15 thumbed her nose at the offer (more within budget, schedule was something more workable, etc.). SD15 was also told that the only way she could take THIS class was if she kept her grades up, stayed out of trouble, cut the attitude, etc. Of course, none of this happened!

Well, I used to take a hip hop dance class through my gym...really loved the class! Unfortunately, gym management took the class away from us (said that attendance wasn't high enough, but management isn't happy unless the people are packed like sardines in a class). So, I wanted to find another hip hop class to take. Only problem, I KNEW if I started taking a class, SD15 would have a fit about it...why do I get to take a dance class, but she doesn't when dance is supposed to be her passion and all! I literally didn't want to deal with the drama in the house, so I just dropped it...until recently.

I got tired of giving up stuff in the name of trying to avoid drama with SD15! I can't take a hip hop class because it would cause drama. I can't go shopping outside of the grocery store without causing drama (because DH always things I need to take SD15, and then she thinks I have to buy stuff for her). I decided that SD15 could just throw her fits! I make the money...it is my right to do with it what I please! I looked around, and I found a couple of classes for around $50/month (remember, I make the bulk of the money in this house). I tried one of those classes this week at a studio close to my gym, and I told DH flat out that I'm going to start going to that class every week as well as my gym night. I seriously do not care if SD15 has a fit! DH can have fun being home with the princess 2 nights a week by himself! Maybe he will finally see what a selfish brat she is.

It sounds like SS is purposely choosing date night to hang out with his dad.
And you would sound like a b if you brought that up.
Teenage kids are so good at manipulating families.

UGH!!!!! Yep, the lousier you treat them the better they treat you it seems. When my husband blew me off for a kids whim I would hear "This is an exceptional circumstance and this time where they are young is fleeting, so I hope you will understand." He missed my 40th birthday because he wanted to be take them and drop them at a school dance and wait for them. When I suggested that they go with a friend I was told the above. Here's the fun part, they come out of the dance staying "we were invited to sleep over so and so's house so see ya." I sat alone on my birthday because my family is states away, so he could sit in a parking lot in car in case his kids needed him. He lived ten minutes from the school!

I think they almost need to prove to themselves as much as everyone else that their priorities are straight and their kids come first always. Sad thing is these kids don't learn how to share or appreciate others or cooperate.

In my case his kids did not care one way or the other if he took them, he needed to do it, so I should just understand because I am an adult. i love how we are told to be adults so they can be immature and selfish.

It did get better, but he still does this crap. He cannot not invite them even when it is something that is not for kids or not something they want. Usually, they decline like any normal kid, but it disappoints feeling that I am not entitled to an evening alone with my husband when his kids are here.