Thanks for the link. I often times feel that is EXACTLY what DH is doing...putting me in the "nanny" slot so that he doesn't have to actually parent! Yes, I found ways to get my kids to and from school when they were in activities, because I was their parent and it was my responsibility! Sure, DH adopted my kids which made them his responsibility, too...but bottom line was that I was bringing the kids into the relationship, and they were primarily my responsibility. I took time off for parent-teacher meetings (which, when my son was going through his phase when my ex decided he simply didn't want to be a dad, there were plenty of those), arranged my schedule around their activities, took the lead in discipline, etc. DH should be arranging his schedule...forget that I work from home, it is still HIS responsibility! I shouldn't be telling her to pick up her socks...HE should be doing it (oh, and last night with the sock thing, all he did was throw the socks to the middle of the living room floor so that MAYBE she would see them and pick them up...after they sat there as she came to the living room TWICE to get DH to sign paper work for her schedule next year and stuff, I finally had to be the one to tell her, "Take your dirty socks to your room!" He won't say anything to her until I get mad at him for letting things go, and then it is one of those calm little talks, where I swear he tells her something like, "...just to keep her happy, could you..." DH refuses to see this child for what she really is! I mean, before this pot smoking stuff came up AGAIN, I could sense she was hiding something...I can tell when she is lying or hiding something, as I seem to be the only one who is tuned in to her moods and mannerisms. It was no surprise to me when it turned out she was STILL smoking pot at BM's house! I don't trust this kid at all...she's 14 and I don't feel like I can trust her alone in this house, even for an hour!

UGH!! I just looked at her food charges at school. She KNOWS that she is supposed to ONLY buy standard lunch at school...that we (or should I say I) are not going to pay for EXTRAS! Today...lunch and 3 slushies? Yesterday...two breakfasts, lunch, and cookies! And when her lunch account is empty, she is going to beg daddy to put more in and he will! Sorry, I am not paying $7/day for school lunch! My son doesn't even spend that...and if he wants extras, he uses his own money because...oh, let's see...HE WORKS! This little princess doesn't even do household chores!

I tell my husband about it this afternoon...that he obviously needs to set it straight with her...and he gets all irritated with me, and says, "I don't think she knows what to do with money." Really? You think? She seems to think that in this house, money grows on trees and she can do whatever she wants! I told him that this discussion was had before, and she was TOLD that she was to ONLY buy standard lunch at school, and if she wanted breakfast, she was to eat at home before she left! I get her out of bed at 6:00 a.m., and she doesn't have to catch the bus until 6:45 a.m. Considering she takes her shower at night, there is NO REASON for her to not have time for breakfast at home...there's cereal, sausage biscuits, bread, peanut butter...several choices. Doesn't know what to do with money? Oh, that excuse really pisses me off! She's even allowed an after school snack when she gets home! Here I am still trying to catch up on bills from the entire month of January when DH was out of work (yes, being a month behind on bills because nearly an entire half of the household income didn't come in sucks...and then DH having to take a pay cut when he took the first job that came around, because he needed to work). I'm tired of this little princess thinking the money never runs out..."I need...I want". I have one tank of gas...maybe...on my rechargeable gas card (I use that because a local grocery store here offers 12 cents per gallon off if you use a pre-loaded gift card)...that was my entire gas budget for the month. At the rate this little princes is spending my money (yes, my money, because DH's paycheck is already long gone), I'm not going to make it the 8 days left until pay day! Good thing I work from home, or the little princess would be running up my electric bill because "it's too hot" while she sits on her butt in front of the TV all day. Sorry, princess...that thermostat will stay on 78, and you are going to have very limited TV time!

UGH...I so mad right now. A talk...A TALK. I can imagine how that is going to go..."Just don't buy the extra stuff, and if you want something extra, ask me." GRRRR!!! What about, "This is what lunch costs every day, and we will ONLY put in your account enough to cover standard lunch, and if you spend extra, oh well...you are just going to have to wait until the next pay period when we put in exactly what you will need for lunch again before we get paid again!" She spends because she thinks the money is free-flowing...she needs to understand what a budget is, and that we stick to one in THIS house!

I'm just waiting until she NEEDS makeup! She already tried to get me to buy her those one-use makeup removal clothes...I told her, "Um, no. That is what soap and water is for...that is what I use, and the same is perfectly fine for you!" She tries to claim there are no washclothes, and I'm like, "Well, there were some in your bathroom...maybe you need to do laundry." Oh, and she is picky about her makeup...the stuff she wants is the more expensive stuff...$7 eyeliners and $12 mascara. If I buy her the cheaper stuff, she's all, "Ugh...it's not the same!" You are 14!!! Get over yourself!

Oh, my SD is responsible for her own washing...I do NOT do her laundry! Both my kids started doing their laundry when they could understand the use of the washer and dryer, as I got tired of digging through nooks and crannies in their rooms trying to find all of their dirty clothes!

DH said he talked to my SD about the lunch thing, and surprisingly, I heard her in the kitchen getting a bowl of cereal before school today. Of course, the whole time, she was talking on her cell phone...really, before 7:00 a.m.?

SD was in bed before I even got home for some reason last night...DH said that "she was tired". Hmmm...wonder how late she has been staying up on Skype with her bad influence friends from her old school. I'm pretty certain she didn't delete the app as DH told her to do. I know she was still up when I left the gym...I could hear her in the background when I called DH to let him know I was on my way home, and I was sure to tell him, "Please tell her to not take a 'forever' shower! I'm tired, and I really would like for there to be some hot water left when I get home!"

I had to pick SD up on my way to the gym yesterday, and DH met me where I normally get my dinner on gym nights to get her from me, as our house is in the opposite direction of the gym, and I told him I was NOT driving back to the house and end up being late for my class! SD is HIS responsibility, and I shouldn't have to change around my schedule. It may seem selfish, but I made sacrifices for my kids for the last 22 years, and in the last 13 years that DH has been in the picture, he has made very few...like I said, most of the time wouldn't even swing by the school and pick them up if he was headed home before me! Anyway, while she was in the car, DH called her and I could tell was asking her if she was going to BM's this weekend. She said she didn't know, and that she hadn't talked to BM all week...I then heard her tell him, "I'm probably grounded for life over there anyway." You bet you are grounded for life! I still can't believe there isn't any punishment for the events that lead up to her moving in with us this time...the sneaking out, skipping school, smoking pot. DH said that there wouldn't be any punishment here because she hasn't done anything HERE to warrant punishment! Really? So, she gets to run away from BM's to avoid punishment? The more conversation I hear, the more I think that SD's step-dad finally had enough and gave my SD the boot...seriously. We stopped by there last Saturday to pick up a dress my SD left there and wanted for church on Sunday, and BM did not seem like this was all her idea.

I'm also wondering how much of "they won't buy me anything" was actually true. I mean, she apparently got accustomed to using makeup removal clothes instead of regular washcloths, and the makeup she has left laying around all over the place is not the cheap stuff. I know I haven't bought her any makeup (and DH hasn't either...that is definitely something that he would send me to do). So, either BM and/or step-dad WAS buying her things and she was lying to try to get more out of us, or she has a little sticky finger problem. Wouldn't surprise me, as I'm aware it can be quite an issue with teens these days. Either way, think I'm going to keep my eye on her at the store, because something isn't adding up.

So yeah...I'm really hoping that SD goes to BM's this weekend...a three-day weekend and I really would like some stress-free rest time.

@headsaregonnaroll...her phone is already so locked down that she can't communicate with any friends...only immediate family. I'm not worried about her getting my son on the crap...they hardly see each other with his schedule...between football and his job, he is a very busy boy. Not to mention, football is his life, and they can do random drug testing in our state for high school sports...he doesn't want to screw up his college chances, as he has a couple of schools looking to recruit him as it is, which gives him a guaranteed chance at another 4 years of ball.

And the DRAMA continues, let me tell you! Yesterday, my SD lost her phone at school. She is claiming someone stole it, but I don't know. I can't tell you how many electronics this kid has been through...I've lost count on the phones, and I know there have been at least two laptops, two iPods, and a tablet computer that have been destroyed, lost, or broken in some way (the tablet is currently still functional, but had to have a corner taped up when she had it less than a month). With the phone, she doesn't notice that the phone is gone until we are nearly to the grocery store, and DH tells me to have her call him. DH insists that we go back to the school and look for it...yes, I blew up at him for that! So, we went back to the school, traced her steps...no phone. I really could care less if she ever gets a phone again! I would be perfectly happy with turning off her line and saying that is it! DH is going to give it a few days...let my SD go ask a few of the other girls in color guard if she saw anyone messing with her bag, and he is going to talk to the director...as SD is insisting it had to be stolen.

So, today's drama...today is the first that my SD has gone to BM's since everything went down. BM didn't want her to come last night, but instead asked if we could bring her this morning. Since DH and I had someplace to be down that way anyway, okay...we will bring her then...actually saved us a little gas that way. Well, my SD calls DH about 20 minutes ago saying that she wants to come home because her and BM were arguing...SD apparently needs some pictures of when she was a baby for a school project, and BM refuses to give her anything. So, off DH goes to bail my SD out again, because he says, "I don't want the whole weekend being them fighting." I'm pretty sure my SD was giving her mom a bunch of attitude about things...I've seen how she interacts with BM...but DH says it is his ex over-reacting. On the way out the door, he asks if we have any pictures. I tell him BM only ever provided us with one of anything when she got yearly portraits, and all of those are GLUED into OUR scrapbook...pointing out, "Do you really want your ONLY copies to go to some school project that you will never see again?" I told him that the only other pictures we have are digital, which is going to mean going out again this evening so that I can make sure they don't print out $50 worth of pictures (which we really can't afford right now), because SD will INSIST on "this one, and that one...oh and this one" and then only use like 5 of them in her project. It is sad that I have to go chaperon them at the store, because DH doesn't know how to say no, and my SD thinks we are made of money...seriously, I can't let them go alone, or she will start asking for nail polish, and this, and that, and he will buy her all of it without even thinking about the budget if I'm not there to give him "the look"!

I would have left her, too...told her that she made her bed, now lie in it! I'm pretty sure she was using the argument as an excuse, as earlier she was complaining that she was bored when she called to tell DH she needed colored paper for her project. Yeah she was bored...she's grounded for life at BM's after the whole skipping school, smoking pot, and posting pictures of herself smoking on Instagram thing!