so my fiancé and i chatted a bit about SD13 and her refusal to sleep over on our weekends despite the CO.

he gave me the line of "im trying" and "im working on it" and i said i just dont understand what there is to try to work on. you tell her mother to pack her bag, tell her she's staying, and that your word (and the CO) goes. this isn’t rocket science.

i also said that he should give her a consequence. If you refuse to stay over, no phone or no ipad. Or if you refuse to stay over some other punishment will be doled out.

then tell tells me.... wait for it.... that he "doesnt believe in punishments and consequences". :jawdrop:

he then tells me that growing up his parents never denied him anything or punished him. so i said your parents never took away TV time or a favorite game or book when you misbehaved or did something wrong? and he said he "didnt recall".

i guess he and one of his brothers were just inherently good and responsible children seeing as the two of them are extremely responsible adults. Interestingly his brother is a very strict parent with his two kids and doesnt put up with nonsense. The third son, however, is what i envision my SD being someday - irresponsible, self-centered, in his own world.

When he tells me this i say "if that's really how your parents were, then i guess that's why brother #3 is the way he is today". he agreed with me. so i then asked him "are you ok with SD being like that when she grows up?" His answer was "some things you cant change or control". Not sure if that comment shocked me or made me sad.

but at any rate, this discussion made it CRYSTAL CLEAR to me that he has zero intention of every parenting his child, and further solidified my decision to wait until she is 18 to get married. If she becomes a major screw up or gets preggo, drugged out, etc. im outta here.