I’ll get right on that...
One of my almost 13 year old SDs annoys the piss out of me because she has a bit of mini wife syndrome. I pointed out the bad behavior to me and DH initially defended her but seems to get it because he's been on her about the behavior.
SD wants a computer for Christmas. BM told her maybe I'll get it for her.
Uh, no.
DH lost his job in July. I was working two jobs and one ended recently. I have kids of my own to buy presents for. I'm fortunate that I've been saving for Christmas so I currently have $1000 in that account, but I have 4 minor kids and 2 adult kids to buy for plus DH.
Meanwhile BM makes low 6 figures and has been paying half the child support to DH that she should have been because she claimed she was paying a ridiculous amount for child care.
I wouldn't be buying ANY of the kids a computer for Christmas but it really annoys me that BM thinks I need to do for her kids what I can't even do for mine. Sheesh.
Welcome to the site!
She's probably just thrown it out there to see how you react. Best way with BMs is just ignore, ignore and ignore some more.
I totally ignore BM
Luckily DH knows I want nothing to do with her and he wants as little as possible to do with her himself. The only real bad thing about him is when it comes to gift-giving, there's a LOT of guilt because he hasn't been able to give gifts like he wants. I think he understands why it's not feasible to get SD a computer right now...but am really hoping he doesn't do it anyway out of guilt.
Chromebooks are super cheap
Chromebooks are super cheap these days. But let me guess, she wants a macbook pro or something >$1000?
We haven't even talked about Christmas for SD yet. It's 5 weeks away!! We have gotten a few gifts for people as we see things they might like. We'll if she suddenly starts talking to him every day after Thanksgiving to try to butter him up for gifts. She usually wants him to buy specific things and have them sent to BMs house. Very satisfying gift giving experience (not).
She hasn’t said...
What kind of computer she wants, thank heavens! There's no way she'd get a new MacBook Pro when DH and I have old ones. I'd be willing to look for a used Air for her in the spring when hopefully we're in better shape financially but not now.
My kids got chrome books for Christmas last year from their dad and they're such a pain in the ass. I've bought 6 new chargers because they keep breaking. Ugh. So even a decent chrome book would be the only thing SD got if we went that way.
I always start planning for Christmas early because with 9 kids to buy for, it gets expensive really fast!
Ignore. Whenever SD10 asks
Ignore. Whenever SD10 asks for something, I just say "Ask your Dad." Anything.
I’m super lucky!
I'm super lucky because DH and I don't live together yet! We got married right before the pandemic hit and I've been looking for a job where he lives with no success. Since I'm now totally freelance, I could move but I have to get my house ready to sell and then do that. I'm taking my time until I'm sure that DH is clear about the roles in the house and won't tolerate SD being rude to me.
If you sell your house
Make sure any money you get out of your home get place somewhere where DH can't get his hands on it. Or you know what will happen. Let's take SD on vacation with your money. Let's buy SD a car m let's, let's
Thank heavens...
I'm 100% sure DH would never suggest using the money like that! He knows that money is our down payment on our house. Spending it on stupid stuff for SD would be a good move if he wants to get divorced and have nothing!
You are going to use YOUR
You are going to use YOUR home proceeds to buy an "ours" house? Is he contributing the same amount for the down payment?
Be very careful... you don't want to end up losing all that hard work.
He isn’t...
But I'm ok with it. Really. He's had a really tough time since his divorce and has been completely open about it from the very start. I went into this knowing exactly where he stands financially.
Perhaps HE isn't ready for
Perhaps HE isn't ready for purchasing a home? Maybe YOU should buy it, in your name, and he can pay rent?
You never know what the future holds. Protect yourself.
That may be a possibility...
I haven't thought too much about all the options because there's so much between now and then, you know? If he wants to be on the mortgage and deed, we have to clean up his credit and that'll take some work. There are a lot of other things we need to do before that's the priority so the plan isn't set in stone.