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Am I being too sensitive...

Newbie_step's picture

Submitted by Newbie_step on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 3:56pm

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Step/Bio Father's Den

so I guess there's no school this coming Monday. Dh has a fun day plan with ss10. So major activity and lunch while I am at work.... I don't know maybe I am being too cynical and sensitive about stuff... but it bother's me that he can wait to the weekend to do a family thing but he has to plan something special to do... am I being a total bitch?? I mean I have spoken to dh about us being a family unit and not his usual life with his son. What do I do??? I mean is it really me reading too much into stuff??? any advice for my sake would be appreciated.... is not like he doesn't see his son every day.. even on bm's weeks he sees him everyday .. he picks him up from school... I feel like he is again ... showing his son.. this is not a family.. it's you and me ... and then maybe the new wife.... I am sick and tired of this BS....

Newbie_step's picture

Submitted by Newbie_step on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 4:06pm

I guess you are right... I guess that sometimes I just get tired of fighting for the "wife" role.. Thanks for the advice... I will relax... LOL

stepfamilyfriend's picture

Submitted by stepfamilyfriend on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 4:10pm

I would try and look at it like this:
If there are times the two of them do stuff alone and not as a "family" with you, means that the two of you get to do stuff without SS along, right? I don't think you'd want the three of you together at all times.
You are not to be blamed for not being happy about this, especially if there are other issue that cause you upset around SS. Sometimes just because we are legitimately upset and hurt, it still does not make something wrong "per se".
Bfeore I came along in DH's life with his two kids, he would go to the movies with them, together or separately, very regularly. Then we always did it together and I actually encouraged him to still go with one or two of his kids once in a while, since that was a special thing they did. He did not think that was necessary, but I think it would have been a good idea.

Newbie_step's picture

Submitted by Newbie_step on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 4:53pm

I hear you... I guess I just have to pick my battles?? lol... he has shared custody... but we see ss10 everyday... if i am home early I pick him up from school usually he does... He has a home base business....He sees his son everyday except for Saturday on bm's weeks... he was trying to have a conversation on Sunday about what being in a family means... I mean before I came along ss slept with him ... did everything together and since I moved in.. it just feels like i am constantly fighting to be a priority in his life... I just feel that when you just had a conversation about how things have to change now that we are married.. but does what he always did when I wasn't around makes me feel like ... ok... so we will say how things are supposed to change but the first moment we get we'll go back to the normal life of "two".... but maybe I am being too emotional about this... I mean I am at work... and he knows that...
He makes these promises to ss without including me on what we are doing on the week we have him which is every other week... we have ss fully..... she is suppose to have him.... but he has overnights at bm's home.... sorry guys I am frustrated....