To spank or not to spank is supposed to be the question. These pseudo science morons call 36+ beatings over 3 years spanking.
https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/should-you-spank-your-kid-the-great-deba...
What debate? There is no debate that corporal punishment is effective. There certainly should not be any debate that 36+ spankings over 3 years is sick abuse.
"“harsh” corporal punishment (defined as at least one spanking per month for more than three years)"
Once again the numb nut behavioral pseudo scientists are trying to propagate their manipulating agenda. This article had me seeing flying flaming fuzzy red gremlin bunnies. Grrrrr!!!!
These idiots have personal issues with corporal punishment so they preselect a completely ridiculous set of parameters to study in order to prove their prejudice. This is absolute admitted proof of pseudo science and its moron minions at the highest level of toothless moronic development.
Really, 36+ spankings over 3 years? :o That is not corporal punishment you pseudo science idiots. That is sick abuse. I can count on less than two hands the number of spankings I received as a kid (birth to 18 (actually 14 was the last one)) and I can count on less than one hand the number of spankings my Skid got in his life (2yo to 18 (12ish was his last one)). Reasonable parents do not need 36+ spankings over 3 years to get the point across on appropriate and acceptable behavior. Over a typical childhood these pseudo science jack asses are talking as many as multiple hundreds of spankings.
Here is the deal. By their own admission spanking works to modify behavior. A kid getting a paddle at school for acting up, a swat, belt, or paddle to the ass at home occasionally for a qualified offense works. Corporal punishment works, spanking is effective, these numb nuts that can't get a fucking job doing something productive push their idiot non science agenda by creating bullshit "studies" like this. Beat the shit out of anyone, kid or not, for years on end, month in and month out, and guess what? They will have issues. It does not take a pseudo science Ph. D to come to that conclusion even with no study.
For example have the kid assume the position for lying and give them a half dozen or so swats to the bare ass and guess what. It will take far less than 36+ beatings over 3 years to give them the message not to lie. Pick the behavior, apply the consequence, and modify the behavior of the kid. If the kid does not get it and the issue is critical enough then apply some sting. If it takes 36+ spankings over 3 years then you are an idiot parent. As a parent you should know to try something else to get the kid’s attention, to be reasonable, say try something different after three spankings +/- ish.
These pseudo science morons need to pull their heads out of their own asses and go find a job with the sentence "Would you like McFries with that McShake?" and at least do something useful.
These jackasses give actual psychology/psychiatry professionals and true scientists a bad name.
I would bet every penny I have or will ever earn that if they repeated this study with kids who received say …. Oh …… 15ish spankings over 10-15ish years that they will prove unequivocally that spanking is effective, it gets results, and there is absolutely ZERO negative consequences for the kids, the parent child relationships, and absolutely no detrimental impact to the lifelong happiness of those families or to anyone in them.
But nooooooo! That would not support their pre-determined desired outcome now would it?
36+ spankings in 3 years. OMFG Really????
All IMHO of course.
Actually I have never
Actually I have never advocated the beating of children. Spanking and beating are two very different things. Spankings are a measured and calculated disciplinary method applied as a consequence to a specific inappropriate behavior while I would say a beating is an uncontrolled act of violent anger. A spanking is applied force. Spanking is not violence.
Spankings are not about submission to authority they are about delivering a consequence for a willful known unacceptable behavior.
My issue with this article and study is the blatant manipulation to return a result in support of the pseudo science minions who have a known and specific agenda. No reasonable and effective parent that I know of would consider a at least one spanking per month for at least 36 months in a row to be reasonable.
This study is not researching corporal punishment as a disciplinary method it is misrepresenting abuse as corporal punishment to drive a specifically preselected conclusion.
We had no school shootings when the principal and teachers kept a paddle handy to light up kid butt when behavior deviated from the acceptable. That is a study. Countless millions of kids over a couple hundred years, no predetermined agenda.
Far from justifying my own behavior, I would welcome a true study run by actual scientists rather than these pseudo science idiots. What intelligent and educated person needs a study to tell them that spanking a kid at least once a month each month for at least 36 months in a row is not an effective method of discipline? I will answer my own question. Only idiot pseudo scientists who could not get a real degree would even have to consider is abuse is bad. Abuse is bad. Period. Spanking on the other hand, may or may not be bad and in fact even one of these dipshits clearly states that spanking works to modify kid behavior.
IMHO, of course.
You are absolutely right
You are absolutely right IMHO. It does not work on all kids and should not be used on those who it is not effective.
Like you, the key in the wall plug and hand moving to touch the pretty red glowing stove top got a swat. No electrocuted kid and no burned kid. It worked. Other than that lying was our clearly communicated spanking offense.
It took 2 spankings for him to get the message and after that, no more lying. Sentences were our preferred disciplinary method with the SKid. Tens upon tens of thousands of them. All in perfect handwriting with perfect punctuation.
Yep. Sadly far too many
Yep.
Sadly far too many people get a mental picture of a rabid parent running around the house with a belt chasing a screaming child when the word "spanking" is used. It is far more calm and calculated than that.
Lol. Many kids know that
Lol. Many kids know that statement to be the harbinger of delayed though immanent doom. When my parents said it it sure was. When either my DW or I said it the kid knew it was.
I think it really depends on
I think it really depends on the child . Some children need them while other will respond to talking. My son for example is one who doesn't listen to reason. I have a 5 step process with him. I tell him 2 times nicely to stop, once sternly , and once put him in timeout. I then tell him the next time he does it he's getting a swat on the butt. He always always ALWAYS get to the swat on the butt, then stops.
My niece on The other hand will listen to you the first time you tell her. At worst she'll listen the second time. I don't know maybe it's a gender thing? I was the same way. When I was small I always listen the first time because my parents were very strict.
My parents only told us once.
My parents only told us once. If they needed to address an issue beyond telling us once there was no counting or second request. There was "I told you not to do that" and there was immediate consequence.
Meh, I think that, as a broad
Meh, I think that, as a broad generalization, most of the "anti-spankers" also fall into the more child centric style of parenting...which is doing our world no favors.
But, I do also feel that spanking and abuse are two completely different things. I'm totally pro-spank, and think more kids needed them when they were younger. Maybe then they would have gotten the concept of comply the first time, instead of learning to whine, cry, manipulate, and negotiate. That said, the day my DH slapped my SD for mouthing off to him, I was furious. He reacted out of anger, and reacting out of anger is wrong.
I train horses, and we have a saying- If you strike a horse to defend yourself (from a kick, bite, strike) that is fine. A dominant horse would do the same, so the horse sees it as "fair". But if you ever strike and you are angry, then YOU ARE WRONG and you are not being a fair leader.
I wish more parents were horse trainers. I bet the horses are glad they aren't. Horses hate mixed messages.
Tommar, to me what you
Tommar, to me what you describe is NOT child centric. You have rules, boundaries, and very creative and effective punishments!!!!
Child centric to me are the people that force EVERYONE to function around the child, rather than teaching the child to function WITH the family. And your kids sound really well adjusted.
I don't spank my child.
I don't spank my child. She's still small, so I physically remove her from danger (electrical outlets for example). I can't see spanking as working any better than saying No the first time and then removing her. If it's not that dangerous (she really seems to love my broom, but her ninja moves could damage her or the cat) I just use No up to three times. She can have a fit about it, but I'm in charge.
I don't really see myself using spanking later once she's talking. I don't need to silence her or scare her. And I was raised with a lot of aggression, so while I am confident of my place as being charge, I don't want to frighten her.
I can understand the difference between abuse and spanking as Rags described, but tbh, spanking used so sparingly... other options, like door off the hinges, complete crackdown on any electronics, etc... those should be equally powerful and equally sparingly used.
An effective parent or
An effective parent or authority figure adult can make the high tension lead up lecture to the actual swats far more effective than the swats actually are.
The legend of the kid who got launched into the air by a full forehand swing of the paddle to the kid ass by the coach or principal kept far more kids in line than just those who got the swats. When I was at the school swats age the teachers had a rather entertaining running dialog on the best paddle designs and technologies.
Thick wood, thin wood, a wide paddle or thinner paddle, holes drilled all the way through to reduce wind resistance, holes drilled half way through to cause a vacuum when the paddle hit the ass that then sucked dimples in the butt when the paddle was drawn back inducing more sting, etc........ }:)
Those were the days. Few kids acted up, parents came to PT conferences dragging their kids by their ears for a tag team parent teacher ass chewing rather than parents chewing teacher ass, illbehaved kids cringed when mom or dad answered the phone, nodded their head and said yes, yes, yes a few times then hung up turned to the kid and said "that was the school ........". The kids who were a problem knew who they were and turned pale and their knees turned weak when mom and dad and the teachers and administrators got together.
The performing kids never had a thing to worry about and were motivated by meeting the expectations of their parents and teachers.
Life was good back when excellence was rewarded, adequate performance was the minimum acceptable standard, inappropriate behavior brought consequences and parents actually were responsible for feeding and raising their own children rather than pawning it off on the schools.
Rather than this entitled little angles every kid is special and deserves a trophy bullshit.