I have an issue and I need some motherly (or fatherly) realistic, nonsarcastic advise. I may have not made the best decisions thus far; but you cannot change the past.....

I had my daughter when I was 19 with a man 10 years older than me. Long story short; it did not last; we are now in diff states... After I had my BD I met my FH when she was just 2 months old. She quickly grew to love him as her daddy; and he willing took this. We had 2 more throughout the years.....

We have now been together for almost 11.5 years. Total is BD11, BS9, BS4 and of course BS13 who moved in FT seven months ago. My worries of my SD spilling this (her BM told her) worries me a lot; I am also worried my BD11 will catch on to this (you can see the diff now that SD is with us FT).

I have not told her before now due to the fact that my daughter has a hard time grasping anything.(I am not kidding with this) She has severe OCD (in hospital last year) and gets down very easily. She has severe learning disabilities and I don't think she would even understand it when we explained this to her.... A couple years ago her counselor said that this sort of "news" would destroy her.

Her BD has never seen her or made an attempt to; so I am not worried about that end.

I just don't want to hold out any longer than I already have; and now that FH and I may be seperating and I could only imagine what SD would say then!!! News like this will crush my babies; I know my BS9 will be confused and crushed at the same time; and all this just breaks my heart.
But I think the time is here; she is in middle school now and I just feel and know that I made the wrong choice by not being upfront in the first place.

Any genuine advice??????