Non-stop pity for psycho...and I'm over it.
I'm so sick of people feeling bad for the freaking psycho (BM). "She has no one" is one I hear a lot. You wanna know who I have?! My ex-f*cking husband who is around half of the year to help out with his own bloody children. Other than that, I am, am have been, on my own. And I seem to manage not to be a manipulative, selfish, child hating, life sucking pile of crap.
She spends her entire life plotting, lying and scheming about how to make my SO's life miserable. She wanted to have a "meeting" with him this week to talk about their kid apparently. She called his fucking DAD to be there. I'm sorry but we are in our 30s. She wanted to convince her dad what a shit guy my SO is (his OWN father). Her last interaction with his dad was when she conned him out of thousands and stuck him with cleaning her cat piss, garbage filled, disgusting apartment while she went off to rehab. ...and he feels "bad" for her. Because "she has no one".
Well, yeah, when you spend your life chewing up and spitting out every single person, it's no bloody wonder. She is a textbook sociopath and I don't know how the hell im going to do this 'forever'. She wants to know why I hate her (she texts SO and tells him what a this and that and this and that I am) and oh yeah, hacked my Facebook for over 2 YEARS without me knowing, reading every message I have ever sent. But she also wants my SO to make sure I "know my place" and that I'm "not her kids mom". Yeah because SO's mom is the bloody mom because she refuses to see her kid, using every excuse possible.
I just...GAHHHHHH. I'm so sick of it. The sympathy. She's had more hand outs and hands out to her than I've ever seen in my life. But she "has nobody". Poor sweet thing.
*his dad. I don't know how
*his dad. I don't know how to edit. Sorry I'm on a phone and anger typing! Not a good combo!
Set barriers. There is no
Set barriers. There is no reason for him to meet her in person without the involvement of a therapist, mediator, or lawyer.
All communication needs to come through preferably a parenting app, if not at least email / text.
Give up on getting other's to see her for who she is. It's a losing battle and it only makes you seem bitter.
Your DH needs to stand his ground and remember if it's not about the kids it doesn't happen and no it doesn't need to be in person. If she has any issues she can send an email or as I said set up a meeting involving a professional 3rd party.
Hmm, thank you for that
Hmm, thank you for that advice: "Give up on getting other's to see her for who she is. It's a losing battle and it only makes you seem bitter."
I have some reading
I have some reading suggestions for you. Maybe you have already read these, but if not, I highly suggest checking them out on amazon.
BIFF - Quick Responses to High Conflict People
In Sheep's Clothing : Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
Divorce Poison
Joint Custody With A Jerk
That's the short list
I am reading Divorce Poison
I am reading Divorce Poison right now. When I'm done I'm going to make SO read it.
I'm barely into it and it's AMAZING.
It sold me in the first chapter with the quote
"Experts regard the attempt to poison a child's relationship with a loved one as a form of emotional abuse."
It's the best - also pick up
It's the best - also pick up "Welcome Back Pluto" it's a great dvd about PAS
Over time, teach yourself to
Over time, teach yourself to avoid situations where, THERE you sit with our eye balls rolling out of your head.
IF your stuck ie Christmas dinner and the apologetics cant stop gossiping about poor pitiful woman, get up and excuse yourself. Remember you can decide not to go. OR leave early because of a headache ...old trick women used many years ago.
IT IS that simple.
Trust me, it is.
Sorry your having to hear this stuff.....or see it. There is always a solution once you take little steps.
My exMIL is like this and my
My exMIL is like this and my Mom is the one who feels sorry for her and talks to her. Just yesterday I heard, "She has no one" from my Mom.
Only one of her children talk to her, my exBIL. He only takes her calls when he feels he can, on advice from his therapist.
My youngest will occasionally take her call but again, only if he feels up to her long sob stories and her poor, poor me attitude.
It doesn't affect me at all, I only hear about it when my Mom brings it up.
I've told my Mom many times that exMIL has no one because those are the consequences of the life she's lived. She's in her late 70s, still has to work and the only people in her life are coworkers and the people in her choir.
Welcome to karma my dear! Not that it matters, exMIL is a narcissist who doesn't understand that she's done anything wrong or treated anyone badly.
"She doesn't know how to parent because she wasn't parented"
I hear this one all the time when my SS3 isn't being parented properly, and is being straight neglected. Neglected to the point of a rush to the ER due to being left with an outrageously high fever for a week.
Quite frankly, my compassion for her ends when it's effects the well-being of my SS. Luckly my partner feels the same way. Others however, still want to make excuses for her.