I think I must Disengaging soon
So I have had a rough week. Last Thursday DH decided he wanted to get SD full time because of her continuous defiant behavior. Now I guess it's supposely our turn to deal with it. I sat in front my husband crying today because I literally don't want SD living here full time. I hate to disengage, but he doesn't hold her accountable for anything and just let her do as she pleases. Today she didn't go to her classes and wouldn't respond to anyone until after 1 and when asked what was wrong she said I don't know. I can't do this for the next 5 yrs. I'm exhausted from the last 5 with SD running away and getting sent to facilitates. I just want a peaceful house for me and my boys. How do you disengage without feeling like your losing control of everything?
What did your DH say?
What did DH say when you were crying and saying you didn't want her living there? How old is she?
He basically said we have to
He basically said we have to take it one day at a time and that everything would be ok. I know that gave me no real answer though...
That sounds really rough and
That sounds really rough and I'm sorry for what you're going through. My sister went through the same behaviors as your step daughter as a teenager. She was very troubled and it was a constant strain on the entire household. My parents nearly got a divorce over the issues that arose with parenting her. Not sure what I would do in his situation. I understand him wanting to help "fix" his daughter but if he took her in full time, he'd have to entirely change his (lack of) parenting for it to be effective and immense strain it will put on your marriage and on your children.
Him just letting her live at your house
Isn't going to fix anything. She needs help, he must get her help ASAP. Disengage, tell DH you will not deal with SD. He has to either be taking care of her, or find day care for her. Not you. You will do nothing for her.