just plain evil
Long story short, my stepson is almost 3. I have raised him since he was 5 months old along with my husband. He obviously works alot. BM did drugs, only got supervised visits. Barely showed up.
Shes been seeing him unsupervised for about 6 months now. She still tries to get rid of him early even thoygh she gets him for 2 days. The last time she dropped him off he was throwing a fit because he was tired, throwing a fut because he wanted to stay with her which she agged on for a full 5 minutes, so i simply told him to go lie down in bed and calm down.
This has blown up into a massive crapstorm. She now says i am evil and have no affection for her child. I know that child top to bottom and that is the ONLY way he would have calmed dosn. She expected me to pick him up and explain to him why his mommy was getting rid of him while he was kicking and screami g his head off.
She has now said i am incapable of loving her son the way she loves him, and that in fact i am incapable of loving him at all. How can someobe say things so evil to someone who has raised tbeir child while they were going through a rough spell, loved him more than i even thoyght i could, literally raised him alone. How can someone be so cruel? She should be so happy i love himas mych as she does and that i parent him in the best way that works for him. He is inalot if therapy and i follow their orders, which sendi g him yo his calm place is one of those. I just cant fathom how someone can think tgat way.
She feels bad that she's a
She feels bad that she's a shit mum and that you didn't stand there and try to convince him otherwise. I
You would be wise to have as less interaction with her as possible.
Stop doing swop overs at the
Stop doing swop overs at the house, its always a good thing to have clear boundaries.
Ignore her spitting rage, but do document, if shes been having regular supervised visits she might be moving to up her visitation. So you guys need to be expecting it and ready to counter, DH is going to need to be around more as if it goes to it BM will be preferential CP when compared with Step mother. The system is unfortunately incredibly biased towards mothers, even those that have been druggy and drink happy, if shes showing progress and willingness she will get support.
That's what I was thinking
That's what I was thinking too reading this. BM is hard at work turning the little guy against SM. it won't be long before the behavior problems and outright disrespect start. It's sad, any chance this boy has at a somewhat normal happy child will be taken as long as this drug addict "wants" him.
Tog is EXACTLY right. I'd bet
Tog is EXACTLY right. I'd bet my left knee that's what the BM is doing.
Go read my blogs for a glimpse into your future
agree, no druggie dead beat
agree, no druggie dead beat BM is going to say thank you.
I'm a BM and a SM.
My BM is beyond comprehension with the things she does to me, DH and her own children.
But,
I say thank you to my bio's SM... Every few weeks, she is great to share the mom role with!
You know your son better than
You know your son better than his womb donor does. That is an unequivocal truth that the idiot breeder parents who had no business spawning in the first place can never comprehend or tolerate. So, they do what your Skid's BM is doing. Ranting, raving, and proving their idiocy even further.
Fortunately most kids are not cursed with such a useless bio parent. Fortunately for your son his dad has the character and cares enough to make a life with you. Your son benefits from that committed adult relationship at the core of his REAL family.
Your son has you. To his BM he is merely a fuck nugget. To you your son is .... your son. Let BM rant, just don't let her adversely influence your kid any more than absolutely necessary. We had to battle similar shit from my Skid's Sperm Clan though his it was not his Sperm Idiot who was the primary problem. Sperm Grandhag was our particular cross to bear and our equivalent of the BM in your situation.
The only way to protect your kid is to bring the pain down on BM fast, hard, and consistently any time she so much as twitches out of alignment with the CO or acceptable behavior. My story started at about the same time yours did. My bride and I met when SS was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo. As you are the only REAL mom your Skid has had, I am the only REAL dad my Skid has ever had.
The good news .... there is an end and a win on the horizon if you keep doing what is in the best interests of your son. A few weeks ago my wife and I got a call from our son (SS-22_). He asked me to adopt him. We discussed it when he was ~12 at which time he told me "Dad, adopting me won't make any differenc. You are my dad. Adopting me or not won't change that." He is a kid that has one of the most well honed understandings of love and family of nearly everyone I know. When he asked me to adopt him a few weeks ago he referenced that conversation from our prior adoption discussion. He said that before he did not want to upset "those people" since he saw them 3x per year for CO'd visitation. Then then told us that he is a Rags, he has always been a Rags and he wants the family name. I told him we could do a name change and having the family name did not require an adoption. He went on to say that last summer when his mom and I celebrated our 20th anniversary with a vow renewal ceremony and the Rags clan attended in numbers, many of our close family friends celebrated with us, and my wife gave her dad an adult adoption (DW's biodad was killed in a car accident before my MIL knew she was pregnant with my bride)he knew he wanted me to adopt him. He not only wanted the family name he wanted me to officially be his dad.
So, we called out killer attorney, the one we used to shred the Sperm Clan for much of the 17+ year CO, and four days later the adoption was complete.
Kids are smart. Your son will know who his real mom is. Just keep being his mom and protecting him from the toxic life support system of the birth canal that delivered him. It may take a couple of decades but it could easily happen that he will want you to be his mom officially and not only in reality.
Keep the CO rolled up and handy so you can beat BM about the head and shoulders with it, keep your attorney on speed dial so you can drag her ass to court for a beating whenever necessary, and do not tolerate her toxic crap. Call her on it each and every time she spouts that evil toxic drivel.
Good job .... mom.
Thank yall. Im pregnant and
Thank yall. Im pregnant and emotional and it just really got to me that snyone can say something like that but not think theres anything wrong with it. She said she was just voicing her concerns lol
Nip that shit right in the
Nip that shit right in the bud.
BM mouths off that you can't possibly love her child like she does wah wah wah
Take baby in arms.
"Yeah, that's exactly right Kathy. While you were out getting high and skipping visitation, I was over here hating on your child. I'm such an AWFUL person."
Slam door in face, walk away.
I just thank god the most she
I just thank god the most she can stand to have him is 2 days. Oh this is not the worst she has ever done to me by far, but for her to think thats voicing a concern, which she said to my husband who is in the middle of the ocean, is plain rediculous and rude. I know its her jealousy that im raising her son for 2 weeks while his daddy is working and she cant stand that, and we have a jappy family, while shes a poor poor pitiful sngle mom who just had her fourth kid and has already done 3 dna tests to no avail, he has no dad. I pray to god one day it will end, i hate all the stress she brings and the problems she causes with his behavior in the small time frame she has him. I try to not let things like this bother me, but last pregnancy i had to go through so much. Court, cps, her psychotic drug rage. I would live to have one normal pregnancy with no stress.