O/T DH going to a party alone
This has been on my mind for 2 days now and I just have to vent it.
My DH gets a call last week and it's from his best friends cousin saying the girl his best friend is seeing is throwing a party for him this coming weekend and it's a surprise. So he tells me and we go on about our day. I was trying to figure who will babysit and things like that. So Thurs he says that his best friend wants to go to dinner for his birthday, not knowing about the party, (they would take him to the party when they were done) and he was wondering if DH wanted to go with them. I then started talking about who will watch the kids and I was thinking my mom would babysit while we go to the party. SO he says "what, you can't stay home with them" (BD6 and SS10) WHATTTTTTTTTT! I said so what are you saying, you don't want me to go to the party with you? he said I was thinking about going alone.
Now, we go to parties it's together all the time,. I mean we do guys night out and girls night out so it's always a mix up if we are out together or not. Not like we go out much, but that's the layout. I was HOT. I said wait, I know this is your friend, but he has become my friend along the way for close to 8 yrs now and you wanna go alone? I said something is not right here. All of a sudden he wants to go alone. I don't think he is cheating at all, but as a back up I did check the phone records to see if there was anything out of the ordinary for the month and nothing.
IDK what to think. All I know is I was mad and still kind of am. After we talked about it a bit, it blew over, but it's still in the back of my head about how it will be handled since tomorrow is the party. Now, he said yesterday he's not going b/c it's a package party deal at a bar so you do have to pay a bit. I think he's just saying he is not going and then when his best friend asks him to go to dinner how will he be able to say no. If DH gives any excuse to his BF about not going to dinner, he will come up with a rebound answer and DH will go and feel bad about not going. So basically I think either way he is going.
So in his mind it's like him saying he is not going is going to make me happy, which that's not even what I want. I just want to know what made him want to go alone all of a sudden?
Everyone will be there, DH/DW, SO's and everyone except me b/c he wants to hang out alone. I don't think so. Not to a party that everyone was invited too. I always think the worst and I am probably freaking out over nothing and it is probably nothing so I need input.
Am I thinking to much into this? what would you think if you were in this scenario?
No I don't think you're over
No I don't think you're over thinking this. Is he exhibiting any other behavior that makes you worry?
If my DH wanted to go out to a party alone and everyone else's SO was include din the invite - I'd be way more than hot - he's have some serious explaining to do - My DH is not acting like himself lately and his behaviors are leading me to question him about what the heck is going on. One of his friends wife called me to invite us to a surprise party for the firend - I made all the arrangements to get a sitter lined up and when DH got home from work that day - he claimed he was too tired but stayed up till the crack of dawn. Now these are friends he rarely sees and I've never even meet the guy - just his wife like 8 years ago. My parents were going to watch this kids and I was excited about a night out since our youngest was just born in August. I'm quite sure we didn't go because there was going to be someone there he didn't want me to see him interacting with. So right now he's kind of in the dog house.
sorry to post my story too but I don't think that if you have a reason to question him it's over thinking it - something is causing you to worry,
I don't think yo are
I don't think yo are over-reacting at all. Nope.
if he doesn't take you, his
if he doesn't take you, his ass better not go... and if he is playing that "i'm not gonna go" and then decides to go at the last minute b/c the "planned" phone call comes in from his BF... he better have plans for SS10, b/c there is no way on god's green earth i would babysit after dh pulled some bs like that!
you should make plans for your bd to be cared for, so you can do whatever you want tomorrow night... girls night out or crash that party and see what dh was trying to hide..
between skid w/e for me and all the bullshit my speeps are going thru, i'm about ready to blow a fuse!
Starfish; you are on the
Starfish; you are on the money with that one. That's how it's going to happen too. He goes, I go. Then it's war...hehe.
dabevans; SS10 lives with us so we actually find sitters for them together when we have places to go. Believe me, I would like nothing better than to say you better find a sitter for your son, but it would turn into a battle. As much aggravation I have put up with from SS10 over this past year of him living with us and his crazy BM in the past it would be way to easy to say it and mean it, but it would turn into a huge fight.
Thank you. Hugs back.
Thank you. Hugs back.
Luv them all; All I can think
Luv them all;
All I can think of the part I mentioned about talking about SS10. That's it. That was me being honest and not being mean about it though. If he took that to heart I can't help that.
All I know if he goes alone, I am going out too. Time for a night with the girls. I will still keep the sitter, b/c I think he is still going to go, so I did mentioned to my mom about babysitting. Worse case I could cancel. If he does go, I would no longer be mad, now it would just turn into next party I will go alone. I asked for the truth and all he said was he wants to go alone. So next time I will just happen to want to go alone too and not invite him
It sounds childish, but i've learned over the years that DH usually learns by example so he wouldn't understand until it's done to him.
only about bio child, i
only about bio child, i hope:
"I did mentioned to my mom about babysitting."
if he doesn't man up and say "of course i want you with me at the party", then he needs to make his own babysitting plans... don't you dare make arrangements for his baggage.
WOW, that sounded so close to
WOW, that sounded so close to home...hehehe. There is nothing else out of the ordinary so that is why this stands out. This raises a flag for me. I was thinking the same thing. I thought maybe someone would be there too, but I can't think of anyone that would stand out, but it doesn't mean that wouldn't be anyone. I know basically 3/4 of the people going. There are a handful of his friends that are actually still single, more married or have a SO, but some are single, including the best friend. He is seeing a girl, the one throwing the party, but it's more of a hooking up deal. So her throwing this party, I think, is a way for her to try and get in closer, even thought the best friend doesn't want too. But, I thought maybe it's b/c some people there will be single and he wants to hang out. I have so many reasons in my head and none of them make sense to me b/c that is not how we are. Parties=we both go, period.
I was excited about going out too. We haven't been out in a while also, so I was ready to go and then it was like a shocker when he said it. I couldn't believe he even said it. I actually stared at him for a minute thinking are you joking. I know some people think it's not a big deal, but it was like sticking your wife to the side, in my eyes anyway, since we always go together.
For a handful of days my SS10 has been on my nerves lately and I told DH part of what I felt. Like most DH's they don't wanna hear it and they get offended. I thought maybe that is the reason he wants to go alone, but still. When your together for long enough or when you get married you don't even think if your invited or not, it's more of a reaction of so what time do you want to leave and who is going to babysit. If he took it to heart what I said, then we both go to the party still.
There has to be more to the
There has to be more to the story. Sounds fishy to me, esp if others are bringing dates/mates. If it was just the guys...well, you could understand that. Keep us posted!
That's what I said. If it
That's what I said. If it was the guys just hanging out, then fine, but it's not. It's a full out party and you want to go alone? no. Believe me, I am a P.I. and I will find out if something else happens if he goes. I find everything out.
Funny side story; yearssssssss ago I thought he was cheating on me, which he wasn't at all, but I set him up to see if he would've cheated. I had a lesbian go to a bar he was at and I told her to try and hook up with him and see if he would flirt back. He never went to the party he stayed home w/me and I checked more into it and he wasn't so I didn't set him up again
You are NOT overracting.
You are NOT overracting. He's up to something. I would be deeply offended if DH decided on his own that he was going to a party and I was the babysitter. I would make plans for the two of you that night. Tell him, "Well since we aren't going to the party, how about if we go to dinner and a movie?" If he has the deer in the headlight look, he is obviously still planning on going without you.
HA, HA. I like it. I like
HA, HA. I like it. I like that idea. I think I will use that one tonight. Since I still have the babysitter that wont be a problem. I love the deer in the headlights look. It makes me laugh.
Sounds very suspect - when DH
Sounds very suspect - when DH was with BM she of course was cheating on him with the trainer at their club (could she be anymore cliche??!?!!?) there was a party one night and when she told DH that she was going he said "Good we have not been out in a while this will be fun" Well she started making up excuses and saying she wasn't going. Dh told her if you go I go - period - you are my wife and as your husband I have every right to be there. Of course she did not go because she was hooking up with the trainer at the party and that could not longer happen.
So if I were you I would tell DH that you got a babysitter and you both are going because it is a couples night - and if he does not want to go you are because you were invited by DH's new girlfriend. See how he reacts to that and that will give you some indication if you need to be worried.
starfish is buzzing a bit....
starfish is buzzing a bit.... but i am like my fUcking ass you will party with OUR friends without me.. (not that i am into ass fucking)... now i forget where i was going with this, but no dh without dw at this party
He is so up to something, and
He is so up to something, and he wouldn't need to call a woman to set up a date, a friend could do it for him (blind date?), or he could use the internet to communicate. Look at me being a negative nancy...
...all I am saying is that I hope you went to the party WITH him.
btw, how did it go?
On a positive note, maybe
On a positive note, maybe he's planning a surprise for you, My DH did that once and I thought he was being unfaithful, but he was just hiding his surprise for me.