Getting BM to pay her share
I am posting this question here, as well as in General Discussion, to see if there are any other commenters who can chime in with their experience:)
BM wants me to cover the skids under my medical, vision, and dental policy. I said okay as long as she files detailed payment agreements with the court to be sure that I don't get stuck with the medical bills.
Does anyone know what my recourse would be if BM refuses to pay her part of any bills that come in? SS12 needs braces and my insurance covers 50%, but if she refuses to pitch in her 25% AFTER the braces on are and we get a bill, what would I do? Would it be considered contempt of court since I am requiring her to file detailed payment arrangements with the court? Or would I be stuck going to small claims? What if it is an ongoing issue - am I allowed to cancel the insurance so that she is forced to get an individual policy with DH?
I could be wrong, but I don't
I could be wrong, but I don't think any unpaid DR bills will have an impact on your insurance.
Oh...and honestly...I would
Oh...and honestly...I would not do this if you even suspect she might flake out on paying anything.
Well no, but unpaid medical
Well no, but unpaid medical bills under my policy need to be paid or will go to collections and effect my credit. If BM doesn't pay her agreed share then I have to pay it. I guess I am wondering what my recourse would be if she pulls this.
PB pulled this on us. We
PB pulled this on us. We noticed that SD couldn't see without squinting. We told SD to tell her mom to take her in for an eye exam.
I guess THAT was the wrong thing to do because next time they came, we asked if she had been in and she said, "No. Mom yelled and said that 'If HE thinks you need an exam, then HE can take you.'"
So, we made an appt. We live out of town so we had to do it on a Saturday that we had the skids. So Friday, we drive up, pick them up and drive back (45 minutes one way). Saturday, drive BACK up there, go to appt, drive back. Sunday drive BACK AGAIN to drop them off and back home.
SD picked out her frames and was pretty excited about it. Well that ALSO pissed off PB (never can tell with psychos). I guess SHE didn't like the frames that SD picked out!!!!!!!
She took her back and got her different frames. We didn't know until we got the bill. We brought it up the next time we went to court (common occurance in those days) and the judge forced her to pay it and change their information to reflect HER name and address instead of ours.
ETA: We had tried to resolve it WITHOUT going to court and she flatly refused to pay it. She was the one who had the court hearing so we just brought it up as a counter.
Just because you carry the
Just because you carry the skid on insurance it does not make you a responsible party for payment. My dh has always carried ss on his insuance. When he lived with bm and she took him to the doctor-copays, bills, and such went directly to her. We got EOBs from the insurance, but otherwise we never knew if he went to the dr. or if she even paid her bill. As far as the braces are concerned I would speak to the dental office and see if they will bill you guys separately for 25% each after your insurance pays. I know some offices will do this and then THEY will pursue her if the bill is not paid. Of course a consequence may be that they will not want your skid as a patient anymore if she doesnt pay.
I just picked up dental at my work and purposely didnt include ss on the policy. This is a secondary policy-he is already covered under dh's policy and it wouldnt have cost me a dime more to pick him up as well-I just didnt feel like it.
I did the same on medical,
I did the same on medical, dental AND vision for my SD18 since she is a single mom on her own and not contacting her father...ever.
My DS21, I GLADLY added onto my policy. SS, either I or DH had to. SD...not so much. We don't even know where she lives and that was one of the questions asked on the application...
Hmmmm...okay, well this is
Hmmmm...okay, well this is good. If they send the bills to her and I don't have any risk because its covered under my policy, thats great.
Thinking back, I guess you are right. My DH would receive bills that were incurred under my policy, but the only reason I was liable is because I was married to him. If its my SS or SD and their mother took them, then maybe I wouldn't be.
Personally I wouldn't do it
Personally I wouldn't do it if BM has the possibility of flaking. However if you do cover your butt with having paper work filed before he is added I think you should be ok. I would call your insurance and ask for details.
I would tread lightly here.
I would tread lightly here. Your DH could be on the hook for **ALL** of the medical bills, potentially. It is true that not paying the bills will not impact your insurance, but you can be damn sure that those doctors will come looking for their money (i.e. what is owed after the insurance write-offs and payments). The doctors don't give a **DAMN** what the court papers say. They are well within their rights to seek full payment from your DH, who would then have to sue the BM for her half. If your DH bows up and refuses to pay, guess what? They doctors will destroy his credit rating for having upaid bills.
This happened with my SS20, back when he was a minor. His bio-daddy took him to the ER for a tummy ache, but didn't bother to give them the insurance information. We never knew that SS went to the ER. Months go by, and the bill goes to collections because no insurance was filed, and no payment was made by bio-dad, who just threw the bills in the trash. By the time my DW got a call at work from the collections company, it was too late to file the bill on insurance (most policies give you 6 months to present the bill). We ended up handling the FULL VALUE of the bill ourselves, and let it go becuase suing SS's perfect bio-daddy would have been pointless.
I love the title of your post
I love the title of your post }:) It's a tough one. We can't get BM to pay for anything for SD she gets a boatload of CS each month. But doesn't have any money for SD's needs. She comes home EOW with a list of stuff that she needs. I told SO if he pays one cent of our money towards SD' care when she is with BM other than CS we will have major problems.
BM said that the CS was her money to live off and that SO still had to pay for SD's needs :jawdrop:
Well there is nothing in the
Well there is nothing in the orders about medical insurance. BM brought it up last time they were in court in November. The judge just said that both parents need to contribute half to insurance, but if I had insurance, why wouldn't BM just use it instead of paying $600 a month? Of course BM didn't say anything to us, I just assumed that come December when you have to reelect insurance options, she'd want to use mine. No problem, except that she needs to put the agreement in writing.
I did just talk to my HR department and they let me know that I could take the skids off the insurance at any time, but couldn't add them again until January 2013. I'll just let BM know that if she messes around with payments.
When the judge calculate the
When the judge calculate the current child support amount, she took into consideration the $600 a month that BM pays for insurance and the $400 a month that we were paying at the time at a previous company. So yes, although there aren't specifics on who pays what or who is responsible to provide insurance, it was considered.
That is what we are telling BM she needs to do. If she wants me to insure the kids, she needs to file an agreement between her and DH to modify the existing order to require BM to pay 100% of copays and prescriptions, 50% of emergency costs and large expenses that are agreed upon beforehand (ie. braces) while they are under my insurance. If its agreed on by both parties, you don't even need to see the judge. It just gets filed (is my understanding).
I don't understand why you
I don't understand why you would consider doing this? The judge just said that both parents need to contribute half to insurance. You are not the BM you are the SM. It is up to your DH and BM to cover the kids medical. Don't either of them have insurance? You're opening a can of worms for yourself. If it is your insurance, you are liable. I don't know how you can get her to cough up $$$, whether in writing or not. You have a good heart, I hope you don't get taken for a ride by BM.
I am doing it for SD17 for
I am doing it for SD17 for sure because she will be 18 in June and going to college. She is ultra responsible so I have no worries giving her a medical card.
BM has insurance available to her at work, but its literally $630 a month. DH is self employed so he doesn't have insurance and he is covered under my plan. God, I don't know why I did this to myself. I was trying to be helpful - wanted the skids to have decent insurance and keep costs down for DH. I checked with HR and I will be letting BM know that the first time she plays games with payment of her share, the insurance gets cancelled.
I wish I had your issue, my
I wish I had your issue, my ss8's bm is a junkie who pays 0 for anything....
Yikes, thats awful, although
Yikes, thats awful, although I almost wish I had that issue so the BM would be out of the picture. I'd gladly trade money for peace and quiet. I always laugh at DH because he always puts the phone on speaker when she calls and we decide to answer so I can hear what her latest requests are/let him know if I am okay with it. Her nagging, squawking voice literally makes me crave a shot of whiskey after the call is over. I have no idea how he could live with that harpy for so long.