DH's Family Really Pissing Me Off!!!

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Ok I have posted about this issue before. DH's family; mostly his mother, aunt and uncle; think it is my duty to take full responsibility for DH's 3 kids since we are married now. Wants us to fight for full custody, blah blah blah. I got in a huge fight with them on our wedding night about this Bull S***! Now one of DH's brothers are getting married in 3 months. Which means, they want us up there for the wedding. I love his brother and bride to be to death... but I just know, DH's mother, aunt and uncle are gunna want the GRAND BABIES there and then get into a discussion about the kids yet again and probably have a huge argument, AGAIN!

Bad thing is, DH is a kiss ass! He will not stand up to his mother and thinks his aunt and uncle are gold! The last 3 times, I have went with DH up to see his family, me and him get into an argument because HE takes their side! YET, when its just me and him, he agrees and feels the same way as I do about the kids. He does NOT want them full time, likes things how they are. But yet when he is around them, he acts like the perfect daddy, wants them with him full time, cares oh so much, ect ect ect. BULL!

Frankly, I don't even want to go, till he can stand up to his family and stand beside me. What should I do?

Chose not to argue. It's

Chose not to argue. It's hard to have an argument when the second party won't engage.

If you like the bride and groom enough to really want to go - I'd go this route.

If they bring it up, I would state, As a stepmom, I have no legal rights, I can't personally do anything, DH would have to handle this. I support him, talk to him. Then shorten the statement to - Talk to DH. And then move on to - I don't think this is an appropriate venue for this discussion, excuse me. Then continue to excuse yourself and walk away.

They can think you need to take responsibility all they want, what does it matter? They can want you to fight for custody all they want, unless DH files the paperwork, there is Nothing you can do about it. Just keep telling them it's not your decision and walking away. If you make the choice to not engage in the argument, weddings are usually pretty good events to disappear in a crowd. Now if you have to deal with smaller events with them, decline or tell DH he gets one chance to stick up for you or he's going to everything but the wedding by himself.

But only you can say if you want to put up with what they can still throw. If the bride and groom would understand and you don't mind missing it, then yea, consider not going. But if you care about them and will be hurt about you not going, avoid avoid avoid.

IF your DH takes their side

IF your DH takes their side and agrees with them, then it's easy isn't it? He's not actually doing anything about it is he? So do like him. If you have to stay at the same table with these people when they start their talk, just smile calmly and peacefully as he does all the talking. If they ask your opinion, just say it's his decision and let him keep agreeing. Where's the opposition then? If they say to him but you're not doing anything about it, what are you going to do? Or other challenges like that, see what he says. You will see he has a technique of fobbing them off which he has perfected since childhood. Just copy him and smile along. Whatever you do don't say anything. You will draw their fire. These folks know that he is opposed to them and they are using their verbal fights with you to try to corner him.
Silence is a much underestimated tool.