RANT WARNING! Very frustrated with my SO. Backstory: Been together 3 years. His father is coming to visit from England tonight. They have a very complicated relationship and hardly speak (father abandoned his family when they were very young, leaving them homeless and broker, and he's generally an ass). FIL emailed us last week and said "FYI I arrive in the US tomorrow, hopefully I can see you". WHO DOES THAT?! He showed up in the US with no plan, no hotels booked, etc. He emailed us from Nashville saying one hotel wanted $500 and he didn't have that much cash on him. Um, you showed up to another country with NO PLANS and NO MONEY!?

We refused to let him come until this weekend (he's been in the US a little over a week now). He arrives later today at some point (no idea when). SO is out of town on business, and pretty much did nothing to prepare for this visit except stress out about it. FIL can be very passive aggressive and seems to take joy out of "embarrassing" SO. He is a very sad and insecure man who doesn't know how to have a meaningful bond with his son, and I actually pity him.

Anyway, I have been busy with work this week and I'm traveling to two different cities the next two weeks for work, so I've been trying to get a lot done. In addition, I've been running around getting ready for a visitor who I've only met once for 2 hours. I've made sure house is cleaned, all laundry is done, spare sheets and towels in the guestroom, food and drinks bought, dry cleaning picked up, etc. I've even coordinated with his ex-wife (who I get along with) to take the girls (11 and 14) shopping for father's day for their dad, pick SD11 up from a sleepover, take SD14 to dance rehearsal etc. Meanwhile, he's just been sitting around complaining about how stressed he is. Every time I ask if he needs me to do anything else, he says no or I don't know.

SO left on a business trip last night at 4pm. A girlfriend won tickets to see one of my favorite comedians at a small comedy club in town, so of course I jumped at the chance to go. I told him the day before I was planning to go. He called me twice and texted me during the show, and I discreetly texted back (didn't want to comedian to rip me). He WENT OFF when I went home about how he couldn't believe I'd gone to a comedy show when there is "so much to be done" Meanwhile HE spent the night at the bar in Delaware watching sports and drinking and eating a burger!!!I was SO ANGRY about how ungrateful he was. I have a full day working today, but still have to make the time to drop off a donation at the library, go back to the grocery store, get a haircut, mop the kitchen floor, pick up and entertain his 14 year old daughter, and entertain his dad if he shows up before 7:30 (assuming SO has no flight delays)!

When I told him how much nerve he had and listed off all of the things I had already done and was doing the next day to prepare for HIS father and HIS kids, he got so pissed. He said "Stop that. You don't do those things for ME. You do those things for us? I thought we were a team". That is his go to insult. "Being a team" is what he lists as the #1 priority in a relationship, and whenever I do something he doesn't like I'm not "acting like we're part of a team". He worked from home yesterday and I made him breakfast and lunch and cleaned up WHILE working! I work from home when not traveling, but I don't have an easy job. I run the healthcare practice for the east coast (21 states) for one of the largest insurance brokers in the world!

Then he uses his other usual insult/way to bring me down: "We just want different things". We have a large age difference (I'm 27 he's 49), and I acknowledge that we are in different places in our lives. However, the key things we want are the same....to be happy with each other, have happy kids, a happy family, be financially secure etc.

I just have a MUCH more balanced life than him. I am VERY social, where he is not. I run a meetup group in my city for women looking to make new girlfriends, have great friends, a great relationship with my family, successful job, volunteer a lot, gym 4-5 times a week. SO has NO friends in our city outside of a few work colleagues. He only works out if I force him. I dragged him with my volunteering (I bring our dogs to nursing homes and rehab facilities) and he grumbled the whole time. He barely speaks to his family, who all live in England.

He eventually calmed down and acknowledged that yes, I do a lot and I deserve a night out to laugh at some comedy. I mean, the comic was a mormon missionary....the comedy was as clean as you can get and I didn't even drink!

I just get so frustrated. I do and do and do for him and I feel SO DEGRADED when he makes me "list out" all of the things I do. I may make less money than him (Still make almost 100k) but I make up for my lower financial contribution by doing A LOT of other things around the house and in our lives.

I'm dreading his father coming because SO's ungrateful behavior will make me resent them both!

OK End Rant!