Sounds so simple but egos, entitlement, possessiveness and narcissism seem to get in the way.

I've been saying the same thing for almost 20 years. My husbands two kids won't even acknowledge us and I think it's all because they've never liked the idea of their parents divorcing. Just guessing that's it but it's been ongoing since our marriage over 20 years ago. And they're 44 and 48 years old! What's so hard about playing nice for a couple of hours maybe 3-4 times a year? I don't get it.

I had no clue that people could carry such hate inside of them. That if you stood between them and daddy's wallet, then they would wish you dead. You cannot change people who love money more than their dad. You cannot change a parent who has raised his children to be like this. So, you let it go, you wish them well, you state the new terms of the marriage for your partner to accept or refuse, and you move on with your life free of them, free of the anxiety, free of walking on eggs shells, and you life in peace, either with or without a husband. To stay, to keep the angst in your life going, is sheer madness. You can never change them, but you can change yourself. We are dealing with adults. They have every right to make a choice to have nothing to do with us. However, they have no right to abuse us, to isolate us, to ignore or to humiliate us. They have no right to do everything within their power to destroy our marriage. When they make a choice to do that, we have a right to make a choice to move away from the toxicity.