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Who we view as family and treatment of them

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 11/25/2012 - 3:45pm

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Adult Stepchildren

I hope you all had a nice thanksgiving and holiday weekend!

Spending so much time with family over the past week made me think something.

I don't care if SDs view me as family or not. We get along great and leave it at that. I know I haven't always viewed all other SOs/spouses of relatives as family either. What matters is how the SOs/spouses are treated. Though I might not view a relative's SO/spouse as family, I'd never ask that relative to leave their SO/spouse behind, or make the SO/spouse feel excluded/unwelcome in any way, shape or form. My SDs are teens. My OSD is 17. She just recently started dating a guy her age. It's her first bf. It's been an adjustment for DH Smile but he would never exclude OSD's bf because he wouldn't want her doing that to me and wants to show her how to behave towards the romantic relationships of others she cares about. Does he view this kid as as family? No. But he doesn't exclude him either. And neither do I.

z3girl's picture

Submitted by z3girl on Sun, 11/25/2012 - 6:34pm

I totally agree with this.

My 75 year old father started seeing a woman probably about a year ago. She is keeping him at arms length (been through a couple of divorces), but is a wonderful woman.

I made sure to tell my father that his girlfriend is welcome at Thanksgiving, and her daughter is welcome too if it were to be the two of them alone for the holiday. My father's girlfriend had to work, so it didn't matter, but I know my dad felt good knowing that she would have been welcome.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 11/26/2012 - 3:30pm

Thanks everyone. This is what I wish many other adult SKs would realize- it's not what you think. It's all how you treat people.