What I'd love to say to some of your adult SDs
1. You don't have to love or like your SM. However, you're both adults. You're not little girls on the playground fighting over some boy. The expectations for compromise and adult, civilized behavior go both ways. Your SM will be a lot more willing to compromise with you if you would stop the childish behavior, apologize for said behavior, and play nice with her. Which brings me to the next item:
2. Your dad can love you and SM very equally but show it very differently. I've heard people say that the bond between a parent and child is just as strong, if not stronger than, the bond between spouses (bio parents present, is this true?)That doesn't mean your dad will or should tolerate you being rude to his partner. Yes, he probably will forgive you, because of the unconditional love a parent has for a child. But he's correcting you because he loves you, and wants the best for you. Someone who truly wants the best for you will call you out when you're acting like a fool.
3. You might have a romantic partner, or will in the future if you haven't yet. Chances are you wouldn't like it if your dad treated this person like $hit because he doesn't/won't like them. You'd want your dad to remember that two good people can be very different and not care for each other, and you'd want him to act like an adult, not shred your partner to you, and address issues he has with your partner in private with said partner so they can work them out like adults. Maybe, just maybe you should try doing those things with your SM.
4. You want your dad to treat your choices with respect, even if he doesn't agree with them. I can guarantee that he wants the same from you.
5. If you have unresolved issues from your past, instead of taking them out on SM, get counseling and talk with the people who are really to blame for those issues. Exercise helps relieve anger and frustration too.
6. If you're having insecurities, talk about them with your dad in a way that doesn't denegrate anyone, including SM. I can guarantee you your dad cares about what's going on in your life and would love to try to help.
There, I just had to get those off my chest. Can anyone else think of any more?
SA said~ "They have always
SA said~ "They have always told their father how it was going to be. They dictate, they do not listen. Even today, if they are so motivated, they will lecture him like a 2-yr-old. When my DH has tried to give them advice, they flat don't want to hear it. They know everything."
WOW. That is sooo my adult SD's. BM trained them to be just that. Vicious pit bulls, not only to their father but to the rest of the world.
Most dysfunctional set of people I've ever run across, and YES, SA, they can only be NARCISSISTS. There's no other suitable definition out there for this sort of behavior.
And If you don't like the
And
If you don't like the meal I cooked, DON'T EAT IT! This is not a restaurant!
And don't expect Daddy and SM
And don't expect Daddy and SM to pay for everything for you. If you are making more than them, pick up the tab in a restaurant once in a while.