SD is a SM now! Wants to bring new gang to Holidays.
So SD (younger SD) has recently become a pseudo SM. I say pseudo because her and BF just recently started living together. No marriage and they have already broken up once or twice in the year they have known each other. As some of you know, I have 2 SD's - the older one is the major problem in my life. YSD has basically been disengaged from both DH and I except for xmas and birthdays.
We recently saw her at a family birthday dinner and she announced that she wants to come to MY FAMILY xmas which is hosted by my sister this year. Her place is so small you can barely fit 6 people in it and YSD + her new gang would be 4 guests. Older SD + her gang would be 5 guests.
#1 noone would even be expecting YSD since she hasn't been at my side's family xmas for a few years now.
#2 There really isn't room for her and her "new family".
DH is stomping around the house because I told him that there isn't room there and my family really doesn't know her anymore. Both SD's dislike my family and criticize them all the time yet expect to be invited when it is gift receiving time - oh - and OSD complained last year that her kids didn't get enough gifts from my sisters- blech, and our niece got more than her kids. Same thing there is virtually no contact with SD's and my family ALL YEAR LONG.
I disengaged from OSD shortly after the xmas gift complaint last year made to me directly over the phone. I had had enough of her complaints and whining to last 2 lifetimes!
My sisters want no part of the SD'S anymore since they have hurt me time and time again - they are fed up too.
I told DH about his DD's - well if you crap in your own backyard enough times, it starts to STINK! LOL. He didn't like that much, but that's what the SD's have been doing to me and my family for years.
So the little headway DH and I have made in the past month or so is out the window again. His poor little princess's will have their poor little fee fee's hurt. boo hoo. I am SO SICK OF THE STEP SHIT BULL-SHIT.
Only one thing matters - THEY
Only one thing matters - THEY WERE NOT INVITED TO YOUR SISTER'S HOME. period.
Hope none of you buy those crazies anything.
I wouldn't want this SD in my
I wouldn't want this SD in my life either.
Take joy in knowing she's a SM so she will likely be getting her karma very soon.
I KNOW! I can only imagine
I KNOW! I can only imagine the hell she is in for too. Her BF is overbearing and sounds like a jerk. She will probably understand so much more now that the shoe is on the other foot. Karma is a bitch isn't it?
I dunno about Karma being a
I dunno about Karma being a bitch 20years, I kinda look on it as a blessing. }:)
To the point in question, your DH cannot reasonably think it is right for his daughter to invite herself to someone else's home. Well, maybe I should take that back. It's his daughter I guess she can do what she likes, if someone else's kid did that, then it would be rude. His daughter is just asking for what she is entitled to, that's only fair isn't it. :jawdrop:
Honestly their stupidity and blindness to the ignorance of their daughters never ceases to amaze me.
She was not invited, she does not get to invite herself. End of story. Perhaps if your husband is so keen for her to be invited, he can take it up with your sister, that'd be a laugh.
I invited DH's son to my
I invited DH's son to my extended family's holiday meal when DH and I first got together. Then I spent some time with him and realized that he is NEVER sober - not even at 10 in the morning. Sometimes alcohol often drugs.
No way I was taking him so I cancelled that and never invited him again. Why should I feel bad - his own mother won't have him in her home.
I think I'm gonna invite
I think I'm gonna invite myself to Buckingham palace for Christmas this year! I wonder what the queen will give me for my present? It better be good enough...
I think if Sd has grown,
I think if Sd has grown, matured and changed to the point that because she has a family of her own she now understands the value of family and her father. I think SD would have either invited her SM and father to her home over the holidays, or instead of inviting herself and her entire brood to SMs sister's home, she would have tried to set up a time when SM and her dad were free and organized to catch up for a meal, drinks or whatever. If the light really has gone on for SD she would not have gone to the weakest link (daddy) to get her what she wanted. Dinner at SMs sister's house. She would have gone directly to SM.
The fact that she thinks she can just invite herself to SMs sister's home via daddy, would say to me, nothing has changed. She's still rude and self absorbed. If she now realises the value if family then perhaps a good foot in the door move would have been to face SM by herself and unreservedly apologize for all the problems she has caused to SM and to SMs marriage But no, her idea of playing happy families is to just forget all she has done and move on. With SMs family no less. Without a genuine apology given freely by SD not coerced by dad, this to me just seems like another insult to 20years.
You are right EBU. YSD has
You are right EBU. YSD has basically hated me for most of my life with DH and has let it be known to whoever would listen. If I was standoffish I was a bitch, if i was nice to her I was a Phoney! I really learned to disengage from her very early on, but DH did as well. He never really cared if she was in the picture or not since she was such a mess and PAS'd by her mom.
Now she thinks she can waltz back in to my sister's house at Christmas and everyone is going to welcome her with open arms. WTH do these SD;s think? My sisters have no use for either of my SD:s now and DH doesn't understand it either - BUT THEY ARE FAMILY - the SD's I mean. I said they are not my sister's family!! Geez.
And SA, yes years ago both SD's were part of the Christmas celebrations at my sister's house. Maybe once at this particular sister's house though. WE take turns so it is every 4 years at this sister's place. I don't think YSD has been to one of our Christmas's now for over 5 years maybe more -can't really remember.
My birthday is in December and several years ago she decided to call our house on my birthday - not to wish me a Happy Birthday - but instead to announce she would not be coming to Christmas with my family as she doesn't like my family. Happy Birthday to me. I think that is when she stopped going.
She has never ONCE acknowledged my birthday either. She is a self-centered victim.
Neither SD is welcome by my family now. AS another OP stated, you reap what you sow.
Double post
Double post
I've been to my aunt's home
I've been to my aunt's home for Thanksgiving for over 40 years. But every year she calls and INVITES me. I don't just take it for granted that I can show up. She might decide to take a trip over the holidays with her grandkids.