I have posted here before regarding issues with SD 20 using my car. Well the issues continue & I need some opinions as to what I should do & if I'm off base in my feelings about this whole situation. SD was working at a bar 3 days a week, her car had a major breakdown & so began using my car "for work" which turned into playtime as well. A week & a half ago she found a full time job. DH & I advised her to give a weeks notice at the bar, she gave 2. So for nearly 2 weeks she has had my car 7 days a week, working both jobs. I feel like I have to ask permission to use my own car. SD is a smoker & DH & I are non smokers. I have talked to SD in the past about not smoking in my car because she has & I of course smell it. She denied it & blamed my BS who doesn't live with us. Right, not her fault whatever. So I get in my car the other day & smell smoke pretty badly. This totally fumes me but if I say anything to her it will become WWIII. So I tell DH to please talk to her regarding this. I went shopping yesterday (my car still smells but she has now started spraying body spray in it creating an even worse scent) I noticed before I left SD was in one of her "moods" where she whines a lot & mopes. I tend to ignore this as I am going through enough myself at the moment (my best friend since childhood died of cancer last week at 46, quite suddenly.) I return to SD still acting pitiful & DH hardly talking to me. I suspect something is up. SD leaves for the bar job making sure to yell up the stairs before she leaves "I love you Mommy" now I KNOW somethings up. DH acts quiet & distant & barely speaks to me all night even after me repeatedly asking him what is wrong. We had spent the first part of the day together running errands & things were great between us, what gives? He ends up going to bed at 7pm & I sit all night knowing that this little brat has started crap & feeling utterly alone. This morning DH starts in within the 1st 10 minutes I'm awake. SD came to him crying yesterday that she thinks I hate her & treat her so bad etc. We get into a big blow up. He tells me how I am her only real mother (BM lives an hour away & is a nut case) & how she so looks up to me & wants to be just like me. Right. This is the same kid that blew up on me about 6wks ago & told me not to tell her how to run her life, how I don't even have a job (which I don't, downsized but looking like crazy) & my life is has been a complete failure etc. No lie! That started because I told her she should save her money instead of buying $100 purse just before her car finally died. I will be honest I don't like SD right now & have distanced myself a lot. I used to when she was younger, we were kinda close. But the older she got the more I see the way she manipulates DH, how he makes every excuse for her irresponsible behaviors, how she turns on the tears every time DH tries to enforce any rules & he backs right down. SD constantly buts into our conversations about things that aren't her business, makes messes all over the house for me to clean. I am resentful. I think I could like her more if she didn't live with us but having to deal with the "princess" everyday has become hell especially when I am not in a good place in my own life. After our blow up DH seemed to understand some of where I am coming from & apologized for bringing it up. DH also told me he started off their talk yesterday by asking her if she was smoking in my car which after pressing her she admitted to once(I don't believe her, it reeks.)Then she started the tears & went into what I call, her classic "it's not me it's everyone else" mode that is routinely used when she gets fired or quits a job, fails college etc & DH or I try to talk to her about her bad decisions. DH has always been blind to this. We left today before SD got up & got home after she left for work. At this point I don't want to talk to SD, maybe ever (I know that won't work but hell I can dream can't I?). She texted me another "I love you mommy" which I ignored. I am tired of playing this game. I am tired of having the mom title (since she was 11)but if I behave like a mom to her then she runs to daddy & we are fighting. I told DH today that he needs to find her a car ASAP cuz I'm over this! I see a sit down meeting in my future with SD after I remove all the sharp objects from the house of course. (Just kidding) How do I cope with this little brat? Thanks for letting me vent, I do feel a bit better but still want to choke her.