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Oops not the nicest thing to say!

ETexasMom's picture

Submitted by ETexasMom on Sun, 02/05/2017 - 10:35pm

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Adult Stepchildren

I was a blunt and I'll blame it on the alcohol because I did have a couple drinks in me. The night wasn't bad. SS did come for the super bowl party and spent very little time watching SGD. I finally put up a baby gate we use for our dogs so she only access to my craft room and the back door since she kept wandering into the house and everyone else was outside. She was very good and watched movies most the time. I did have to fix her food but sent her to daddy for potty breaks.

Well the oops came when I was talking to my daughter about a blanket I was crocheting and SS asked where the sports blanket was I told him I would make him 2 years ago. I looked up and said "I stopped making it when I was told I wasn't invited to Christmas". He looked kind of shocked and I said "well I wasn't sending gifts if I'm not invited so there was no point in finishing it". That sure shut the conversation down. He tried to fumble around and say well that was 2 years ago and then find an excuse why he wasn't around this Christmas but couldn't find one. Didn't help that DH kinda chuckled. Thankfully DH agreed with me and isn't mad I blurted that out!

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Sun, 02/05/2017 - 11:36pm

You spoke the truth, something he obviously needed to hear.
It may not have been the nicest thing to say but then the truth rarely is.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 02/06/2017 - 12:13am

Gotta love the truth and facts. They tend to be very effective is zipping the lips of toxic idiots.

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Submitted by ItsGrowingOld on Wed, 02/08/2017 - 12:21pm

The truth and facts, in my experience, is not effective in zipping the lips of toxic people. Maybe momentarily, but not overall. They are typically mental or personality disordered and there really isn't much one can do other than remove them from you life. They are like a cancer that eats away at a good soul.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 02/12/2017 - 4:19am

Oh, no doubt that removing them from your life is the best thing... when it is possible. Unfortuantely these toxic idiots are like a bad case of psoriasis and they just keep coming back. So... when they show up... bare their asses with the facts as publically, painfully, and consistently as you can. Eventually they will begin to crawl back under the slime covered rock at the bottom of their shallow and polluted gene pool for longer and longer periods. It is like a game of whack-a-mole. When they poke their heads out.. smack-em with a fact.

As for eating away at a good soul... I have found that learning to enjoy the process protects me from most of the consequences of their toxic presence.

It is kind of like a dog lifting its leg on an electric fence. A smart dog will only do it once. A dumb dog... well.... you can't teach a dumb dog new tricks unless you are consistent. Keep the current turned to max and when the toxic opposition pees on the fence... grade the quality of their howling and dancing around as you crank up the power..... then reset and be ready for the next time.

Keep tightening the tolerance of their toxic crap and eventually you will pretty much get them under control and keep them there. The key is learning to have fun in the process.

Good luck.

ldvilen's picture

Submitted by ldvilen on Mon, 02/06/2017 - 2:33pm

Biggest thumbs up ever to you!!! Great to see SMs not suck it up and take it or take the high road, or any other such sayings that are really meant to blow off SMs and "politely" remind them that they are supposed to contend with being the lowest priority, behind DH, SKs and BM.

The only one who is going to call people out on this type of behavior is us, so you go girl!!!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 02/06/2017 - 7:23am

I can't believe he still expected it or even had the nerve to mention it.

Alcohol or not, there was nothing wrong with what you said.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Mon, 02/06/2017 - 11:26am

"I stopped making it when I was told I wasn't invited to Christmas". Good for you!!! He was rude to bring it up like that in front of a bunch of people. He was trying to make you look bad. It back-fired. You know this may cause him to not communicate with DH or you for another couple of years - let's hope!

joan mary's picture

Submitted by joan mary on Wed, 02/08/2017 - 9:06am

I will never ever understand how some people can be rude as He** and then be stumped when it comes back around to smack them between the eyes. Too bad he is too arrogant to understand that he is the root cause of the problem.

sammigirl's picture

Submitted by sammigirl on Sun, 02/12/2017 - 9:26am

Good for you. I do the same thing and now my SD doesn't come around much; nice! I have had enough of the fake crap in front of DH and then when he's out of eye and ear shot, they attack me verbally.

I shut SD and SGD down now. They don't like me anyway, so why not.

I've been nice for years, and I will continue to be civil; but will take no more abuse from these mean women.