This is the second year in a row that SD had not sent a card or phoned DH for Father's Day. I disengaged a year and 1/2 ago. SD and her hubby went ballistic after I asked them (nicely) to speak up. They had been having little mumbling sideline conversations while in the car with us or even sitting next to one of us on the couch - all of the time. For this I was blamed for making them "uncomfortable". When I tried to enlist some sort of support from DH he ran out the door. My hunches are usually pretty good. I had the feeling that later on during her visit, DH had given SD the impression he was going to be leaving me. He threatened to leave off and on for most of the marriage but I finally started saying, "So leave." So for the last year and 1/2 SD has not once acknowledged DH - for his birthdays, Father's day, Christmas, and has not returned any of his calls. So now he is having to deal with it. And even though I think it is a bit thoughtless of SD, I have a hard time finding any pity for DH - he dug his own hole - and not once supported me in front of his daughter. I am truly NOT spiteful, we actually get along fine. But I believe it was his responsibility to inform SD she is to act like an adult. He has been shirking this for as long as I've known him. He has to be the one to reconnect with his daughter . I can not understand why he is afraid to confront SD - it appears he has nothing to lose. I do not have any objections to him visiting her whenever he wants but as long as he does not insist she respect me in our home, she will not be allowed to enter it.

We have the same identical issue except with my SD22. She has not acknowledged Father's Day two years in a row, but yet if my DH was to not acknowledge her birthday - all hell would break loose and he would be the crappiest Dad alive. I cannot stand her. Like many others, I have disengaged from her. I did nothing last year for her birthday -- my DH threw her a little BD party, which I think is stupid, but whatever. I left and went to a friend's house. This year, not sure what I'll do. We'll see what DH decides to do. i told him not to sign my name to her stupid card. I want no part of her anymore. If she does a complete about face and starts to behave like a human being, then I might consider it, but as far as I'm concerned, she can just go away.

Two of my other skids are also irritating, not as bad, but if they were to go away, I would not be sad either. By go away, I mean move away, btw.

I have been in those shoes and in some respects I still am.. But he's doing the right thing,, sometimes being dad isnt what its cracked up to be... You have an honorable husband.. I think respect is the lesson hes trying to teach his son.. Let him keep at it, the world could use more people like that..