I am so angry today I just want to scream. I haven't felt this way for a while, most of the time I am able to be disengaged and positive. Need brisk advice to get back to that place, ladies and gents!

SS19 is flying down here in two days and we have not heard anything about the time of arrival. But DH is expected to pick him up (1 1/2 hour ride to airport one way in horrible traffic) of course. When he was doing his bouncing back and forth a few months ago, they would book flights each way without consulting DH about whether it worked for him. Early early morning to leave and late night to arrive. We finally had him take a shuttle, which still meant getting up or staying up to meet it.

He is coming because he made a pathetic attempt at leaving his dying rural town and making a life in a vibrant college town with us. Spent all his money on partying, barely tried to get a job, and just before running home to BM, got arrested! 3 a.m. doorbell, there is SS in cuffs with cops. So drunk his eyes were rolling back in his head. He has been arrested multiple times but until he was here, we did not realize that he is an alcoholic. Once he drinks, he doesn't stop until someone dies or goes to jail. Totally out of control.

BM has a history of keeping secrets and I am also angry because DH was excluded from knowing the truth (Daddy will be mad!) when he was in trouble at 14 and 15 and 16....once we didn't even know about a court date for pot possession until DH called the courthouse about another court case of SS. SS insisted on staying with BM -- party house -- and she is a total non-parent. Only upside is she got to experience the fruits of her stupidity by having to put up with and bail out SD and SS for the last five years. An example is, she smoked with the kids, who were 13 and 17!

Because of previous arrests, best case this week is probation. He may end up serving time. Family (enablers) pooled money for a lawyer and I am sure are helping him financially with this. He has been home for six weeks or so and should have been working and saving money. He says he wants to go into the service (his excuse for running home) but this mess just blew a big hole in that plan. He said he could do rehab but "he doesn't have a problem" HA HA.

I FEEL like ripping BM and SS and the rest a new one for this situation and for treating DH with disrespect. He is a great dad and a non-guilty dad for the most part. But during the divorce, BM pulled the victim card and got the kids to side with her "you left us wa wa although I was screwing someone else." The PAS isn't terribly overt--she doesn't usually yell or say mean things etc to us but more that's she's created an us versus DH situation.
And he was the one who raised them! She "worked" while he cooked, cleaned, bathed, fed, picked up, played with etc. the kids. She never wanted kids.

I don't have the "love" blinders on. SS is on the fast track to hell. He needs to hit bottom and people need to quit enabling him. I am just "DH's wife" as SIL1 (bitch) told me once. Yet I have to stand by and watch this affect MY HUSBAND and MY LIFE. And of course I want to see SS pull it together and have a happy productive life!! He's not a bad kid, just an addict!