"Who was the one who babysat the grandskids? Who fed them? Who took them out to play? Me,that's who. I never received a thank you much less a gift. Don't get me wrong, I don't want gifts, a simple thank you would more than suffice. Why do I still let SD get to me like that?"

Ready? Because stepchildren like any other extended 'member' of the family are supposed to treat their family members nicely. When they do not, it hurts, just like it would if any other person in your extended family did this, excluded you. It's a normal reaction to an abnormal person in the family.

And, like families do, members chip in to help one another. When the abnormal person in the family doesn't reciprocate, feelings of resentment occur, which is actually from hurt. You feel hurt. It's normal. What's NOT normal, is the behaviour of this person. The very reason why people in families are estranged sometimes - I think complete disengagement from step kids is no different than any other family estrangement. They are cruel, abnormal and treat others badly/use them/etc - which causes estrangements.

Disengage emotionally. And recognize the oddness of this person, who absolutely *knew* you would be hurt, because it was deliberate, which is more evidence of how strange some step kids are. And how important it is to protect yourself from the hurt. Because we all have been there - going out of our way - and then treated like dirt.

It's the fault of the BioParents, likely the BirthMother. If the relationship with you had been encouraged from the beginning by the BioMother, we would have issues. Unfortunately the BioMothers don't understand that their children (hello their KIDS!) are being cared for by others and it would be in their best interests to encourage those relationships. All their hatred will do is poison future generations - so they're not only screwing up their own kids, but their grandchildren and others as well. Bravo.

I have this problem also with my SKids. What I realized is that the skids will ALWAYS thank their Father and not me for whatever it is I do, whether it is take care of their children, buy them gifts, pay for their meals etc. Your SD certainly knows you are the one that takes of her kids when they are at your house. All SDs know this because MOST Grandpas don't do all the work when they take care of grandkids, their wives do! But the SDS and some SS will NEVER acknowledge this with any sort of simple thank you and definitely not a gift.

You need to look at this as time as building a loving, quality relationship with your grandkid and expect no return from the childs parents. This way if the parents ever decide to not let you see the grandkids for some reason the solid relationship that you have built with your grandkids will sustain any lost time of being together.

needinginwardpeace, is so right when she wrote "Ready? Because stepchildren like any other extended 'member' of the family are supposed to treat their family members nicely. When they do not, it hurts, just like it would if any other person in your extended family did this, excluded you. It's a normal reaction to an abnormal person in the family." That is why it hurts when they don't acknowledge you and that will never change because THEY will never change. But if you build a solid, good relationship with your grandkids they most likely will acknowledge you and show you love and it will be pure (no stepkid baggage from the past) and that is something
GOOD to look forward to.