Yes, actually it is very hurtful when our bios don't even acknowledge us on special occasions. I have given my oldest (30) way too many excuses and just tried to press on and hoped tht one day something would dawn on her but reality struck me this year. I knew that I could not a get a card, I knew I would not a get a phone call and actually I am in counseling so I brough the question up to my counselor.

Realize that my ex left when she was 6 and has played some very harsh alienation games that have caused a huge amount of damage to the relationship between herself and me. Also, counselor says daughter has not come to terms of her father abandoning, knows he leaving could not have been anything she did and feels it was my fault and so has blamed me for everything since. It doesn't matter how crazy, she will justify anything he does and blame. And as long as she can support everything he does and says, maybe just maybe he won't abandon her again. But who has been there for her and always showed her love when she wasn't being too loving herself? Me and she knows that but to face it is to face a reality she is not ready to see.

Counselor said I do have a right to tell her that "like she enjoys the gifts, cards and acknowledgement on special occasions I would like to receive the same from her." I could see that being a mess!!! Counselor said that in my case my daughter is telling me in unspoken words, by not acknowledging me, that I am unworthy and to do this and make me feel bad gives her power and control.....she wants me to hurt as much as she is hurt.