Fathers Day Crap
More bullshit today to look forward to.nothing but arguing goin on in our house.his daughter works in a bar.She sends 13 year old son down to our home to get her dad to pick up her husband from the bar( he was at a golf tournament with her boss and she had to work late) he asks me to go for the drive.I say" if you are just going to pick him up, sure.He says" what I can't go in the bar and have a drink?" I am not a drinker, it was Sat night, hubby already had 2 or 3 drinks.Daughter bar tends..she pours one drink after another, glass is never empty..Well, I stay home because hubby is in a snit.He goes to pick up son in law and is gone 2 hours..you can guess how many more drinks he has.he comes come and goes to rec room, watches TV, doesn't speak to me..I go to bed, throw him his pillow and tell him to sleep elsewhere.So today is Fathers Day.. I agreed to go if his son is not going to be there (because he ignores me anyway and his wife is a Princess and a bitch) said I would take a salad and planned on devilled eggs as well.Now we are not talking and I am tired of pretending this marriage is all good and it's not..as soon as I can do it, I think I am out of here.Let his darling alcoholic, interferring daughter look after her father or someone else put up with the crap..I've had enough..not even married a year..and never been so unhappy in my life..the golden years? what the hell is that !!
He is not respecting you and
He is not respecting you and could be an alcoholic himself. Trust your instincts. As this type of behavior continues we often adapt to it until we start to integrate in our psyche and even start to own it or blame ourselves. Right now you don't, keep it that way.
Was he driving drunk? Serious problem if he was of course.
If this continues you may want to consider separation w/counseling to save your marriage in the long run (as well as your sanity).
I don't loko forward to today
I don't loko forward to today either. The kids have no idea how to honor their father. The rude attitudes have already started.
If you aren't a drinker you
If you aren't a drinker you may never feel that you belong with his family, and you might get to the point of feeling you don't belong with him. It's just a lot different from people who rarely or never drink compared to people who drink socially.
Not too crazy about the idea of him driving after having had a few drinks at home followed by two hours at the bar where the glass never empties. If he does this a lot you better have your butt covered legally by having medical power of attorney, wills, life insurance policy with you as beneficiary. Just hope and pray he doesn't hurt or kill someone else while drinking and driving.
Just let him go to Father's Day with his kids and you stay home and enjoy something yourself. Hopefully they will not be drinking.
My daughter also lives on
My daughter also lives on our street, she walks up to say Happy Fathers Day to him..she asks" were is mum?" he tells her I am not talking to him so he doesn't know" bullshit..he ws not talking to me...pissed me off..he didn't need to say anything other then your mums in the house.so my daughtr says " go mum , don't stay home alone " she is tired of seeing me sad.So I make a salad and devilled eggs to take,,his daughter drops in to make sure her father got her phone mesage: "BBQ at..3:30 come about 3 for drinks"..thier damn life revolves around booze..I know nothing about his will, never seen it..he says I never will, don't know anything about life insurance..he is leaving everything to his kids..I am not on the deed to this house he bought me..LOL..I need money and a car to get the hell out of Dodge..
His luck will run out one day with drinking and driving..his kids can bail him out, not me..thanks for answering BTW.
If you want out of this
If you want out of this marriage this is the perfect time - NOT 20 years later like me. It gets more complicated as time goes on. I lived as a speed bump because I wanted to save the marriage, did not want another failed marriage - don't do that. Stepmisery suggested separation with counselling - good idea.
If he sobers up you may
If he sobers up you may dislike him worse.
Counseling won't do any good if he's an alcoholic. He has to stop first.
Might as well cut your losses.
Yes, I would try separation
Yes, I would try separation first and counseling if he's willing. Otherwise, just separate and see how you feel. It's obvious he has a problem and I believe you will only continue to fight about his drinking and his daughter's co-dependency. Please put yourself first - this coming from someone who never did.
Thank you ..
Thank you ..