DH is not going on the trip.
Forums:
Well I finally brought it up as it has been bothering me. is he with me out not. Well this time he is on my side, for how long I don't know, but I am glad about that.
He said he is not calling her either for a while, so he is quite upset. I have never seen him like this, he is depressed too.
He also mentioned something about telling her he is not going on vacation with her until things improve. I am going to assume that means until she is polite and respectful.
This has been so draining - I really don't find I am as happy as I should be. I guess it's because there is so much water under the bridge.
OMG. Unreal. these grown
OMG. Unreal. these grown babies just irritate me to no end. I was never like, that with my dad, rest his soul. And he, said no plenty. I didn't fall down in tears like some of these SD's. I had a SM too for a few years . I never thought I came first, sheesh.
Good on him for finally
Good on him for finally standing his ground!!
100% agree - Marriage should ALWAYS come first!!
Sooner these spoilt entitled kids realise that, the better.
It is so good to hear your DH
It is so good to hear your DH has decided to twll SD "No." I remember that letter she wrote to you last year. You gave it to him to open and he wasn't too happy about it. Looks like SD is digging herslef in deeper and deeper. I hope this time she gives up.
I'm glad he's not going. It's
I'm glad he's not going. It's the right thing for him to do.
I'm sure you're not as happy as you thought you'd be because there are no "winners" in these situations. I ask myself sometimes what would make me happy. A part of me says if he would just be done with that bitch of a daughter and see who for what she is, but I know that her not having her father in her life would not make me happy. I wouldn't want to be a part of that because I grew up without my dad around and it was painful. We're all in a game with no winners and all we can do is minimize the injuries, to ourselves and others.
"--there are no "winners" in
"--there are no "winners" in these situations." Isn't that the truth. I would much rather have SD in our lives - if she wasn't so toxic. Neither DH or I think disengaging and banning SD from our home is ideal. And doesn't it seem like it would be so easy just to practice mutual respect?
Perhaps your DH is starting
Perhaps your DH is starting to see that SHE your SD really is the problem here and by going away with her he would only be encouraging it
I'm glad he is upset with her too, hopefully it means your DH will tolerate less of her crap in future
When my H's daughter was the most out of control, at first I really didn't feel I had my DH's full support. It didn't matter that he knew her and her history of psycho behavior, didn't matter than even BM sided with me (yup, she had been through it all with their eldest daughter too) but it took until one day my FIL told DH that he had never been more embarrassed, more angry, more disappointed in DH's daughter than in his whole life. He told DH "WE don't act that way in our family" and that he couldn't stand sitting there and watching how she talked to and treated me.
DH got it. He realized he had to get over his guilt, his excuses, and his enablement of his daughter's horrific behaviour....she had continued to push him until finally an ultimatum from her and then DH could see the monster he helped create.
He took a stand
Like you, I was about as happy as I could be but, there were consequences for DH doing it and believe me it continued to get very bad with his daughter after that.
A long hard battle but in the end, she has made progress in the area of respecting boundaries.
I hope you and your DH stick with it, it will be tough, but the beginning is your DH seeing the problems his daughter is causing and beginning to support you. This will hopefully ultimately teach your SD about boundaries and ones she can't continue to cross