Awful people. I am glad your DH isn't going.

Dh is doing the right thing but my goodness, that is just sad. I hope that they come to their senses sooner then later.

When OSD had her second child, her BF called my DH to tell him. DH could hear OSD in the background cussing her BF out for calling to tell us. But she has been a bitch to my husband since she was a child, way before I came along.

As bad as this is, in the long term it will be for the best. You would both spend the rest of your lives dancing to DIL and SS tune and this baby would be just another weapon to punish daddy and humiate you.

When people show you who they are, belief them. These two have shown you who they are. Belief them and leave them to live their vindictive lives.

This is so sad, and I am sorry that your husband's children are so cruel. It will come back around to them at some point. Just be like Teflon!

We, too, are in a similar situation. SD had baby and told her father not to go to the hospital. So he stayed home. But why were all the other grandparents there? This is a first grandbaby for both families. He didn't expect to be in the delivery room, but was very hurt that he was banned from even being at hospital. I'm not close to the SD or her husband, so she isn't hurting my feelings at all (hopefully, he wasn't kept away because of me). I love the man and I have his back, so I'm mad that she has deliberately hurt him. But, as has been said before in this blog--when people show you who they are, believe them.

So, if I am asked where DH was for the birth, my stock answer is "He was told by the daughter not to go." It's the truth; there is no need to enable her to gloss over about why he wasn't there. That being said, I promised DH that I would not say anything unless I was asked. So let's hope that no one asks. He's a great father as he can forgive her for this. Now my biggest worry is whether he'll ever be able to spend time with his grandchild. It's a mess, for sure. I don't feel strongly one way or the other about her...but I do have a memory like an elephant, and paybacks are hell.

We went thru something very similiar.....I had been communicating with both SS and DIL about the birth of their first, no date ws mentioned eventhough I asked. Baby was born, SS notified husband via email and husband did not pass that along saying later that he had hoped SS would also contact me which he did not. One I did know the baby was born I contacted DIL by email to congratulate, told her I had just found out. She accused me of lying and basically toold me off, saying I should have been there when the baby was born, asking what kind of grandmother did I think I was, etc? I told her I had no due date and had not been notified when the baby was supposed to be born. SS then told family members that his wife was hurt becasue we had not been there when the baby was born. She told me that she would have no more contact with me. It was insane. We recooped slightly. I took them a whole bunch of really cute baby clothes which she seemed to adore. No apology, they acted as if nothing had ever been said which I found very weird and I was very cautious.

Then she asked me if I could help with the lil girl's 1st bday party which was going to be midweek. They live an hour away and I work so this meant taking off work to help with but I decided I could do it. I had just started to eamil her back to let her know this and I find an email in my inbox saying they had moved the bday party to Sat so that SS bio mom could be a part of it. That was the final straw for me. I guess it had been nawing on my emotions that she had been so rude in the first place after being so evasive about the birth date and without an apology I had not really let go so when this was said I blew. I told her. "Hell no, we will not be attending. There is a long history with bio mom and it would not be a good idea for us all to be in the same room together." That staged WWlll. SS jumped in, told us what terrible parents we were, said we would never know his daughter as our grandchild. This was over two years ago. Husband has tried since to make things good with son and at times he gives but basically they have not seen each other since.

I have felt bad that I said, "hell no," but I finally got tired of all the lies and the games, the assumption and the blame. This was on top of years of much of the same. We had not been invited to the wedding. We found out thru another family meber they were getting married. Husband then wanted to make sure he attended so contacted his son. It was a mess. I finally decided I ws not going to go as I knew I would not be accepted with bio mom there and both SS would have not liked my presence either so I contacted SS to let him know I would not be attending. He writes me back, demanding an answer, saying his dad said I was coming and he had to know. No doubt in my mind his brother would not have attended the wedding had I appeared which I figured was the reason for his demand. Same kind of crap with previous girlfriends......same storyline, different scene time and time again.....I was always at fault and we had always hurt them.