Annnnnd we continue the saga
Last night was not as good as the night before, but it wasn't awful. I can see DH is wanting me to do more (he hasn't asked, but if you know, you know). I'm still doing only what I choose to do. When we're alone at bedtime he expresses his frustration with the cluster of situations surrounding SD and her kids....and I keep reminding him that only SD can make the choice to change things. I think he was ticked that I fell asleep with him still talking about it last night, but there have been plenty of times I've wanted to talk and he did the same. Yep, I'm treating him the way I have been treated.
Sgd is only 2 yo, but she's a little bratty because SD doesn't teach her anything and basically tells SD what to do. So, my house currently reflects that. DH is running around, sweeping up crumbs, running the dishwasher, throwing away trash and picking up clothes thrown around. But I am ok with it. DH is even talking sternly to sgd, telling her "we don't do that" when she decides it would be a great time to run around screaming. I kinda laugh because I raised 3 bios, so I'm not unaccustomed to little ones bursts of energy. What else should be expected when the poor thing is standing in front of a TV most of the day while SD scrolls her phone?
I can't change how SD parents (or doesn't parent) and SD isn't my child to try to correct at 22 yo, so I just carry on.
He will only see the
He will only see the situation clearly by having to deal with it himself.
Love Your Stance!
Keep it up!! I did the same recently.
Haven't seen DHs son in 5+ years. Won't go into details, but his son/wife/2 kids stayed with us for 3 days/2 nights. In the past, CajunMom was the "hired help," cooking, cleaning, entertaining, etc. Since DH chose to do this "attempt at reconcilliation" his way, I let him handle everything and he learned quick. He cooked a huge breakfast for them the first morning (I did not join in). I walked into my kitchen at 2PM to dirty dishes and pans everywhere. I walked up to DH and said, "Just when do Y'ALL plan on cleaning the kitchen? Are you seriously waiting on ME to do it? Because if so, that is NOT happening." He quickly said that was not what he meant, then headed to the kitchen to clean up. So, DH had to run himself ragged cleaning up behind a 40 year old man, his wife and two toddlers. LOL
As Rumple said.....the will only see the situation when he has to do it himself. Sit back and enjoy your free time.
Tonight might get interesting
DH is after me to pick up the missing ingredient for SD to use in her "restaurant quality" dinner she wants to make. I'm gonna pick it up and watch everything go down. I am definitely not doing clean up. It can all rot before I do more than put my plate in the dishwasher. DH can get dish pan hands till the cows come home, lol. I already know SD won't clean up because she hasn't lifted a finger yet to do more than pick her nose!
I'll update tomorrow!
Well maybe the meal will be
Well maybe the meal will be good. And you can encourage work in the food industry (although, starting at the bottom wouldn't suit her I guess). But then she can get a job. And a car. And start acting like a grownup.
Nope, you stick with the program and don't clean up after them. Your DH is running himself ragged and THEN he has to drive them back. It blows my mind.
Yes!!!!
She did a short stint in fast food and an even shorter one (days) waitressing....she couldn't hacked it and honestly didn't want to work, so she quit. She won't work as long as she isn't forced to by circumstances with BM and others propping her up. She has failed the test for a permit so many times she has a few to pay and waiting peroid before she can try again. But she has no desire to drive...it boggles my mind!
The meal was horrific. DH said that at least she tried. I'm thinking of the huge quantity she made that's going to get thrown out. I'm not shocked.
DH said 'I guess I'm going to bed hungry' ...but I'm the only one that heard it, lol.
There are dishes in my sick that weren't loaded into the dishwasher, but they can sit there.
I'm cooking tonight and will still let them sit.
DH asked for this longer visit, so he can deal with it.
That someone who can't pass a driver's permit test, not even a
a license for F sake, is allowed to breed is mind boggling to me.
Her poor spawn. They are so screwed.... .for life.
My BIL2's DW refused to get her license. Her family refused to schlep her around. My IL clan was her beck-and-call Uber/Lyft service. Until... the weren't. The entitled POS breeder decided she no longer could work at the place she had worked for 12yrs and took another job that was out of the way. My MIL drove her to her new job for a while and finally told her no more. Suddenly.... driver's license.
This failed supposed adult SD will keep doing what she is doing until she can't get food for her kids and they are screaming about being hungry. Then... she will figure it out. But only when no one caters to her crisis of the moment.
Let them starve. She will figure it out. DH needs to stop being her bus service. If she wants to visit, she can transport herself and her Spawn. DH needs to STOP. By being her beck-and-call boy, HE is as much of the problem as she is.
IMHO of course.
She"s obviously not very
Bright and extremely manipulative. They are enabling her to fault when she no longer has someone to cater to her request. She makes DH feel she's doing him a favor by gracing him with her presence. He sees through *some* of her bs and tells me she's stupid or an idiot, but then will do whatever to please her. If she lived closer we'd have bigger problems I'd he didn't remove the rose colored glasses quickly.
She will continue as she is until someone finally has enough, and I suspect that will be a good long while.
I suspect some of her driving fear comes from BM, who claims due to dizziness that she can't drive on busy roads or the interstate. Bullshit. Older SK also had a fear of driving, but bit the bullet and drives local, not so busy roads, but nothing more than that. Their kidults are not adulting well at all, but OSK did recently get a pretty good job, so fingers crossed it works out. SD is a whole different matter, though.
I am really curious
What was the dish she made?
You're not alone in that!
You're not alone in that!
I'm also pretty sure she didn't follow a recipe, right?
She had a recipe
Whether or not she followed is a great question.
It was shrimp, fettucine, a tomato garlic pasta sauce, crashed red pepper, garlic and Paisley flakes. Basically shrimp spaghetti. I wonder if she seasoned it though. It definitely wasn't good, pasta was over cooked.
Bless her heart, she was trying to pluck the tails off frozen shrimp with her fingers. I was watching silently before I walked away and heard DH say "maybe you could just cut them off with a knife"...smh
Serious question, based on
Serious question, based on this and the drivers license thing - can SD read? Even if it's not books, have you seen her, say, read and reply to posts on social media? Did she graduate from high school in regular education? If she's legit mentally challenged, she should qualify for social services. If dyslexic, i've read that there are oral testing options for the written test. If she's just refusing and being enabled, that's BS.
She's a social media queen
But she doesn't use proper grammer and spelling isn't up to par. I've heard her read aloud and she can read, but she didn't put effort into school and scraped by. She graduated high school, but she finished online and it was a sort of let's give her a diploma and get her out of here type of things.
To be frank, she's extremely lazy and only does what she wants and often that = nothing. And BM and others enable her to do nothing.
Ugh. That's tough. At least
Ugh. That's tough. At least SD and BM seem to get along, because BM is going to have to "keep" all of those babies (including babyfied SD) for the rest of her life.
Basically
Pasta with shrimp, but very badly executed
Did SD or your DH reimburse
Did SD or your DH reimburse you for that 'missing ingredient'?
SD has no money, no pot
To piss in or a window to throw it out of.
DH and I have combined finances, so it came from our jointly account. It was worth it to hear DH say he was going to bed hungry it was so bad. Everyone else stuck a snack, lol
Pasta with shrimp
Isn't that hard to make. Fairly easy. But this is DH ,DD, He is in charge. Of cooking or better still the cleanup. Kitchen, stove. Pot pans dishes. You just eat and say this is a interesting rendition of pasta with shrimp. Its fabulous,
So you’re saying the restaurant quality.
Was lacking? the restaurant must have been Dennys or village inn?
Definitely lacking!
It was more like gas station quality!
Delusions of culinary grandeur
Just a toxic Skid creating more victims... trying to get praise for supposed "restaurant quality" cooking more along the lines of a greasy spoon rather than a gourmet gastronomic experience. Greasy spoons are still restaurants... after all.
At least she tried
SD17 powersulk NEVER offers to do ANYTHING. And back last week when she was still talking to me, was telling me how she wants to bake all these different confections for her friends. And then the whole fd fail...yeah, who is going to pay for those ingredients - because not me said the flea.
DH gave her credit for trying
Me, a little, but I felt it was a big waste of money on the ingredients and if not for the bread, most of us would have eaten extremely little.
It was rather disgusting.
Praise for failure does no one any favors.
So many kids these days are granted special status with zero proximity to actual success.
I get high fiving a kid for a solid effort. However, they are not at the level of those who actually excel. Granting a false label of exceptionalism cheapens reality only for the falsely "exceptional" but also for the truly exceptional though the truly exceptional will actually reap the rewards in life while the falsely exceptional will join the minions of the entitled under performers.
SD would have been far better served to be given a true critique of her dish. rather than daddy's lies.
IMHO of course.
As per usual, you're spot on
And I owe you a lot of gratitude for your frankness. It has help me to see I'm doing no favors to anyone, least of all myself.
Moving forward, my honest opinions will be given when asked for and sometimes even when not, if the issue at hand involves my time or finances. Both are too valuable to be squandered.