This has come up in a few blogs lately so rather than highjack those I thought I'd put them all in one place... What is with these adult stepdaughters who feel the need to tattle on their younger step sisters? ESPECIAILLY after Oldest step tells younger that it's ok, she won't tell. Maybe this is just my family but...

The cast of Characters -

SD26 Graduate Degree, Married, Living in my house rent free. Has never cooked a meal for the family or even offered to pick up a soda or a coffee at the sotre for us. her dh has never mowed the lawn or helped get the grill ready for the season or get the patio furniture out. she has had other friends stay over at our home when we're away most weekends. They drink and don't drive home drunk. They don't clean up after themselves and blame others for making their messes. They moved out last year without a thank you or a goodbye. We paid for her wedding, her tuition, her move across the country for an internship, and back here, her car insirance and health insurance and a little money here and there whenever they came to do laundry.

BD21 finished 2 trs at university, decided college wasnt for her, works full time 45 hrs a week earning $60K. She moved in for a few weeks that overlapped SDs year. It was bewteen 2nd semester and may term. She didn't take a may term because she was getting a ft job. she sublet her apartment to a girl who moved in right away and she needed a place to go for a few weeks until her new one was ready. she came in a cooked and cleaned and planted flowers and mowerd the lawn. she took SD dog for a run every day. when sd got married, bd gave her a necklace as her something borrowed and helpd her pin her dress my mom sewed. she made a photo album for her and decorated the entire garage and house for sd graduation party. j

All hell broke loose.

SD left her stuff in the bathroom but took it all away when BD started using that bathroom =- tattled to her dad that bd used her hairspray. i looked at her and said she probably thought it was a trade for you wearing her necklace right now. horrofied. she shut up. she started going to DH when it's just him. Daaaad you should have seen all the people who were here last night. they were drunk. i think they broke the table. we got home and i didn't see anyhting but dh needed to look in the trash for something and yep there were some beer cans. He pitched a fit. I said what made you look there, we come home every sunday and you dont beeline it to the can. he 'had a feeling' I said yeah right.

Another time I walk in and he takes my hand and drags me to bds room and says what the hell is this. i said awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww looks like kittens!! how cute blah blah. he's livid. very allergic to cats. So i call BD and ask what was she thinking, she knew no cats. WELL I ASED SD and SHE said it woud be FINE if they stay in my rooom and DH never sees them. I tell this to DH and he says well I did see them and now I'll sneeze all night... SD daughter hid in her room and wouldn't come out.

LAST ONE (then bd19 moved out on her own) we came home from vaca and dh goes straight to the patio. comes back in and man is he pissed. I'm so damn angry. Why don't these kids move the grill away from the house when they grill so it doesn't melt the siding>>>>????? I went to look at it was really bad. I looked at him and said whoa, any ideas who grilled while we were gone? well it wasn't sd26 or her husband. ahhh... no... which reminds me, were they going to replace the siding they melted a few months ago? grunt. I texted all my kids and found sd19 says hey mom welcome back from vaca. there are some steaks we grilled exrta so you had food to eat when you got home. and we need to come over and talk to you because we think we did something to the house but not sure how to fix it. we 'wiggled' the siding. i said yes, we'd seen it and we'd figure out how to fix it and let them know the price for their share. i had her on speaker. dh was already getting the stakes our of the fridge. He says, what do you mean her share... I said I think sd26andhub should pay for the part they melted. well wait, they dont have that much money. i thre my hands up and as i walked away i said i'm tired of the tattling and won't listen to it anymore and if theres any more damage to myhouse i expect them to pay for it so ungratefull freeloaders better get a freaking job and that little bitch better stop tattling on everything around her. bd19 consideres sd26 a sister. and when it's working for her, sd26 was happy to take gifts and kindness and heart to hearts and outfits and wedding photo albums and did her nails and drove to my moms to sew her dress...

The real last straw was when bd19 stopped in late for work from the gym, needed clean pants, was desparate, went into sd26 room and found some and borrowed them. she's the dumbassfor not putting them back but that's no herenorthere. sd26 is livid. they change the lock on their door I BLEW UP AND SAID OH HELL NO you want that kind of privacy you go get a fucking job and a new place to live. when I wasn't home she sat bd19 down in the living room where she prceeded to tell her for THREE HOURS how terrible it was to do and how disrespectfl to her as an adult in this household she should be respected and she helps make the rules as one of the older people in the home. she ranted on and on for hours. All the while BD saying, You're right, I hshouldn't have done it, i meant no disresptect. i was late and needed pants and you had 10 pair of pants hanging there. you weren't home and I WAS LATE and i said i'm sorry and it wont happen again.

sd gets in her face and says that's right little girl because we LIVE here. we are responsible and take care of our things and you're just a slob here for a few weeks. My daughter had enough. She said Are you finished? sd says Do you have more to say? bd: I've said all i have to say about the incident. i am sorry, i shouldn't have dont it, i ask that you forgive me. SD says Anything else? BD thinks and says yes... you're 26 years old, and married, with a graduate degree, and you both have good jobs. you're living free in my moms basement while your dad bought your car, pays your insurance and cell phone and tuition. I may be the little girl as you like to call me, but i have my own apartment I live in alone, i pay all my own utilities, my student loans and my own credit cards. I bought my own car and pay my own car insurance. I go to work full time ever day at my professional job pulling down about $60k, then I work my second job bartending a few nights a week for fun. I'm telling you all this so you have something to tattle to your daddy when you see him tonight because I'm so outta hear.

and SD tattled. I laughed. dh was irritated but hey, siblings fight and bitchy big sisters sometimes get dumped off their high horse.

What would you have done?