Has anyone ever changed venues from MD to PA? Anyone ever have BF file for custody/CS in PA?
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BM & BF were originally divorced and CS/custody ordered in MD - BF lives in PA and BM moved out of original county in MD. Told by CS Enforcement that we need to file for CS in our jurisdiction (PA), which we have, but the custody battle is still in original court in MD.
They seem to be sympathetic to BM, which I assume all courts are, but I'm thinking that perhaps if we changed to PA courts, they haven't seen her before and maybe we will win full custody for the next two years and some real child support that can be enforced. And maybe my DH would be more able to stand up for himself in a new venue where he knows she's not on top of her game.
Any help or advice you can give would be really appreciated!!!!!
Are you going for custody
Are you going for custody for the right reasons? If it is about money, you should absolutely NOT be going for full custody. Correct me if Im wrong, but aren't these the skids that you wish would die? If you can't live with these kids, you should let your BF know before he does get full custody and you resent him and the kids for it.
As for courts, most courts will favor the BM. I would most definitely get a lawyer's advice about the change of venue, ect. DO NOT go through this without a lawyer. Trust me on that one.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Why don't you take things so
Why don't you take things so seriously or something? You must think I'm a horrible person for being angry and venting.
As far as custody is concerned, I think she is better off with us. She is treated better, she is taken care of better and has MUCH less stress because of it. Her BM doesn't consider her in anything she does and when she finds out that SD is bent because she was manipulated or ignored, she tries to buy her off. We provide the insurance and it IS much easier for us to take care of her health issues because I make the time to do it. BM never did/does. WE are the ones that will bankrupt ourselves to correct her health issues that have been present for years but BM did nothing but tell her to get over it! So YES, she will be better off here. Unfortunately, even though we can prove it, BM is a lying manipulating turd that if all else fails will cry to get what she wants and since the courts favor her in the first place - we are up a creek.
The judge is going to speak to SD to see where she wants to live because at 15 she has the opportunity to speak for herself. Like it or not, if she even leans toward her BM, we lose.
The wheels are already turning and from your response, I'm guessing you think we should just give up, throw in the towel and let BM have her back, but that's not what's best for SD. So no it's not all about the money. Yes, the fact is that we can't afford a house if SD lives with BM because she rapes DH with CHILD SUPPORT. But it's not about the money. He paid the BM $36000 over the last 6 years with nothing to show for it, so what's the difference of 2 more years. The problem is that my DH is not killing himself working to make that wretched person rich! The money is supposed to be for SD's care!!!! We have custody of her right now and BM doesn't pay like she is supposed to and she is getting away with murder as to how much she is supposed to pay because DH is a pushover when it comes to her. And there isn't anything I can do to fix it, but if DH were to try to pay every other month or whenever he got around to it like she does, he'd be in jail.
I already resent SD - the ENTIRE reason for that is because she has learned how to be a manipulator like her BM. She will not tell us where she WANTS to live because if she admits that she wants to stay, she will lose her ability to play BM against BF & I. If she admits that she wants to go back to BM, she knows that her life won't be as easy as it is now. She's pissed about the fact that her BM moved out her hometown and moved in with us because she knew it would piss off her BM. AND, adding to that, BF and I want her with us and would do anything for her so we dropped everything and moved her in with us. What SD wants is to live in her hometown and is willing to live with her aunt and thinks the courts should let her and make daddy and mommy pay auntie child support. We keep telling her that courts will see she has two perfectly capable parents with no drug, alcohol?, or abuse issues to contend with so they will not allow it.
So SD manipulates one side against the other and whoever comes up with the best offer is who she chooses and it goes back and forth all the time!
SD doesn't give a crap about anything/anyone but what she wants and THAT"S why I resent her. That's not gonna change no matter where she lives.
But I'm the adult. So I go on websites like this one to vent, instead of telling HER I wish none of this ever happened!
Whoa Whoa Whoa!!! I DO NOT
Whoa Whoa Whoa!!! I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON. I understand that people need to vent. Im on here aren't I? I am going to PM you.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
As far as I knew, when you
As far as I knew, when you file for a modification to an agreement, you file it in the location you're currently living in and the current order is transferred to the court that the modification was filed in then that court handles it from there on out...
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
We never changed venue but
We never changed venue but we did hold it over BioDad's head to keep him in line. As long as one of the priciples of the case (Mom or Dad) live in the original county of jurisdiction most courts will not approve change of venue.
In our case changing venue would have almost doubled BioDad's CS obligation but also would have significantly increased visitation. We chose not to expose our Son (my SS) to the SpermClan any more than they were already poluting him. However, the threat of doubling CS was enough to keep BioDad in line when he tried to step out of line.
It was a useful tool for us to use in protecting our Son.
We also found that the court favored the parent that lived in that jurisdiction over a parent living elsewhere. My Wife has always had full physical and legal custody (out of wedlock teen mother) but the courts have favored BioDad since my Wife packed up the kid and moved out of state to go to college..... and never returned. BioDad has had 8wks of visitation the whole time, only takes 7 but dumps the kid with SpermGrandMa during visitation and rarely sees the kid.
Since your DH apparently has at least physical custody, the change of venue may be a good move.
Good luck.
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)