We are in a state that *really* favors BMs and children of divorce. When high-conflict, NPD/BPD BM filed for arrears in CS last year, plus a ton of other things that only make sense in her bombastic imagination, DH thought he was really screwed. Things looked bad. He was holding his head in his hands at one low point, almost moaning, what is going to happen now???

What happened then was that i found us a great law firm, after talking to about a dozen, and we went to court. DH and BM attempted mediation, which was futile as BM does not understand negotiating or compromises - her idea of a compromise was "You really owe me 22,000 - well just pay 20 now and you will owe me the rest". She was driven by 2 skids having aged out and so it was now or never for her. So she invented thousands of expenses ( like car insurance for 2 cars for skids - their idiotic separation agreement mentions ONE which DH refused to pay as he was paying for college out of pocket - so she decided to teach him a lesson by putting 2 car insurance payments on the petition!) In mediation he offered her 10,000 just to make her go away. She screamed that she is tired of being bullied by him and me ( !) and she will see him in court. Immediately she hired a lawyer but then reconsidered, got her retainer back and went pro se. What happened next was a few months of intense insanity, with DH initiating another petition in another court ( long story... to force her to do what the divorce decree told her to do with the house), motions, letters flying back and forth... we spent in legal fees the amount equal to college tuition.

And so now, about a year later, we have the judge's decision.
I wish it was worded somewhat more strongly, but it is really good as is. Considering that BM has falsified OSD's date of birth to prove DH owed more in CS than he thought he did, and added *MY* W2 income to DH's on her court papers - thinking nothing about taking *MY* earnings away from MY kids to make sure hers get MORE - none of that worked. The judge fell for NONE of that! Every paragraph in the 5 page decision begins with "Petitioner failed... "

Petitioner failed to establish mutual consent, petitioner failed to establish basis for review, petitioner failed to establish any outstanding college arrears. Woo hoo! I am dancing a jig here! The student loans taken by the children are clearly on the children!!! The parents are only split the loans the parents ( i.e. DH) took out, on a pro-rata share if the child is unable to pay ("unable" is not defined). However, after all is said and done, DH has to pay her a minimal amount of CPI increases ( for one year that amount is $67) and some extra curriculars that he agreed to pay, around $1000 (even though the judge said there was no mutual consent for those).

We won!!! I am sure there will be more, as this b*tch is rabid, but she was HUMILIATED like never before. It was a pleasure to watch, a perverse one, i know. Greed and entitlement did not pay as well as she hoped they would. Who is the idiot now that did not want to take 10K?

I want to say to everyone out there in the trenches, do not lose heart! We were very close to despair more than once. You need to build your case, and find good allies. I was not expecting the family court to be anything other than boo-hoo-this-poor-woman-is-trying-so-hard-for-her-sweet-darlings ... (the poor woman owns a business that grosses a stupendous amount of money. The sweet - adult - darlings are vipers.) Having a lawyer was great but DH did all his own spreadsheets that showed how gross her over-estimates were. We worked for this outcome.

It feels great to have prevailed. I am feeling so much better, more in control, and sane right now. I do not want to keep going back to court, but as our lawyer said, this decision is precedential and VERY GOOD for us. May be it will scare her off for a while.

Good luck, everyone!