Oh bullshit. HIS kids.

Go ahead and ground one once or discipline them in a way he doesn't agree with and see how fast they turn back into "HIS" kids.

FYI - when my bio misbehaves - then he becomes HIS kid too. I call BS.

huge gigantic nope. my stepchild is not my responsibility nor is she my child even though I spent more time with her than her own biological mother.

Not. Ever. It's a biology thing.

Bah.

Just bah

yeah get the title right cause this is just the tiny little tip of the iceburg. sounds like he wants a replacement mother for HIS kids if he already can't see the boundary there.

Absolutely bullshit! My Skid is my My son and Our son as much as he is my bride's MY son but when he is the throws and peroxisms of a kid brain fart or a cranio-rectal syndrome flare up he is YOUR kid when my bride and I are discussing his antics. I say "hey, YOUR kid did....". She says "Oh hell no, MY kid did not do that, YOUR kid did that. I blame your mother. She cursed us to have a kid just like you and her curse came true!". Even in intact parent families where the kids share the genetics of both resident parents the kid is often referred to as YOUR kid by either parent when the kid is being particularly infuriating.

The beauty of being a Sparent who is a REAL parent to their StepSpawn, or any flavor of SParent for that matter, is that we can always accurately play the "that shit sure did not come from my gene pool" card when we are giving the Skid and our spouse shit about stupid Skid tricks. }:)

In my Skids case he does not look like me, or sound like me, but he sure speaks like me and acts like me. I can play the "not my gene pool" card but when it comes to some of his behaviors .... I have nothing I can possibly say to deflect the responsibility for that other than "It is my mother's fault. She cursed me to have a child just like me."

He has HIS kids, I have MY kids. It's easier for me because his are adults or very soon to be so I have no need to treat them as anything other than that. We did make the decision early on in our relationship that when we lived together, we would combine our finances and each and every dependant child would be catered for out of that. He had committed himself to contributing towards his children's university education and I'm on board with that, and the same will happen if/when mine should choose.

We collectively refer to them as "our boys", so if someone was to ask me how many children I/we have, I'd say "we have 4 boys between us" but I would never claim them all as my own!

DH calls my bios "your girls" & I call his spawn "your kids" - at first we wanted the perfect little blended family, no labels, " our kids " blah blah.... Then shit gets real. Lol

they are his kids or their kids, not your kids.

except for on here, i dont even refer to my stepdaughter as my stepdaughter. she's always introduced or discussed as "fiance's daughter", never "this is my stepdaughter." I dont want any ownership of any kind over such a rude, disrespectful, spoiled ingrate.

My SD is only that on this site, otherwise she is DH's daughter. I didn't give birth to her, I didn't raise her (even though I've been in her life since she was 5), I don't love her unconditionally. I don't, in any way, think of her as my daughter.

I get that there are situations that the step parent fills a parental role but your DH should not act so offended that you called his kids exactly what they are: his kids.

OMG I'd NEVER refer to SD as "our" kids or "my" kid. F that.

BUT, once, SO did tell me that when I say "your kid" (especially when I'm pointing out something bad about her, like misbehaving) it makes him feel like what I'm really saying is "she is this way because of YOU" or "ugh I wouldn't have to put up with her shit if it weren't for you." I guess I can kind of get that. So the compromise is that I call her "the child." What's hilarious is, he has adopted the phrase himself! Now we actually rarely say her name when she isn't around.

I used to say 'my stepdaughter' all the time. I never say 'our daughter.' Lately i've been saying 'my husband's daughter' and when she's acting up (which is a lot lately) i say to my husband 'your daughter.' Its kind of a joke between us now but deep down I don't feel like she's mine at all. I've done my best to do everything a mom would do for her but i'm not going to do that anymore. She's 12 and she has a mom. I'm her dad's wife. I'll create a happy home for her and do what i can to help her if she asks for it but she's not my child. She feels foreign to me even after 5 years.