Further to my last post about DH's daughter inviting BM to not only SGS's birthday party (which was totally fine of course) but to the small family dinner for DH's family afterwards...which crossed the line as far as I was concerned, well this was yesterday

Anyway, while I was overall relieved there were no major annoyances, there was a bunch of irritating incidences from BM, although again rather than being irritated really, I mostly just feel bad for her

The first thing that caught my attention was that whenever BM thought I wasn't around/or wouldn't notice, she was giggling and all smiles around DH at anything he might do that she thought was "comical"

But then at the end of SGS's party when we were all collecting up the gifts etc.. to put in the cars, BM was outside holding the door supposedly for people coming out with their hands full. I happened to be coming up in just that scenario and saw her standing outside holding the door open and thought it strange that no-one was coming out, but then, oh yes it was of course because DH was on his back in from dropping off his load, and BM of course wanted to catch the opportunity to chat, exchange a laugh, talk, or whatever with DH. Guess I interrupted that one on you BM!

But the worst was when we were all back at DH's daughter's for the "family dinner". After dinner everyone was in the dining room for the present opening (at least dinner was buffet style and BM and her SO chose to sit in the front room, everyone else ate in the dining room, DH's daughter made excuses for it that BM didn't want to catch all our colds, but I wondered if maybe even BM felt it was all a bit inappropriate) either way, this did not stop her watching DH, hoping I assume that he was also watching her. When SGS was opening her present and everyone was watching him, BM was watching DH. It was almost like she was looking for DH to notice that the gift was from her, that she was looking for DH's approval of her, or maybe jut a moment to acknowledge that here they were together in the same space with their grandson. DH noticing anything to do with her seemed important to her. Fortunately DH seemed unaware and was watching SGS open his present instead like everyone else.

And then there was the inevitable trip down memory lane, surprising BM herself the one to start it! It was when I was right beside FIL, and SGS was opening his gift from YSD. It was a bubble gum machine and BM says to FIL that he had bought one just like it for OSD when she was SGS's age. Then FIL says oh yes that was right he had bought OSD one. Then BM goes on to tell everyone/me, that it was when she was pregnant with YSD and sick with morning sickness one day that OSD kept bugging her to put coins in the bubble gum machine and OSD couldn't even wait until BM had finished vomiting because she loved the bubble gum machine from FIL so much

I thought to myself here we go and so it starts, but then I remembered StepAside's advice LOL, and decided instead to brightly say to OSD, well I guess you know now what is going to happen to you now yada yada. This also brought some chuckles, and more importantly, I think showed BM, OSD, and DH's sister that not only was I not in the least bothered by all this nonsense, that I was actually enjoying myself there

I did feel bad for BM's SO. He barely even looked up all evening or at anyone, let alone participate much in any conversations. I mean it's one thing to have to put up with your DH's EX all day who never seems to have gotten over him, but worse for sure to be her SO and have to put up with her EX, especially if BM's SO suspects she has gotten over DH as well

In the end I couldn't even be angry at BM. I really just do feel bad for her. I think she still loves DH and it must be hard to see him with someone else, to be in the same room with your kids/grandkids, and yet he is with someone else

Tough situation for all