Would you tell biokids that skids are only their half siblings? and if so when?
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This issue is a ways off for me, but another post got me thinking. Neither biomom is in the picture for my skids, so if I don't actually tell biosons that I am not their mother, they won't know. Both of them all my mom.
I fear that if I don't actually tell them myself at some point, it will come out and they will think we've been lying. Like a teenager hissy fit where someone yells, youre not my real mom or something. Or have a biomom show back up and have them confused and wonderijng about themselves.
But if I am truly honest, I also want my biosons to realize that they are full siblings and have a stronger bond.
At what age should I tell them, if ever, that the older two aren't my biological children?
Just to add, incase it wasn't
Just to add, incase it wasn't clear..... My stepkids are fully aware that I am not thier biomom. We aren't keeping anything from them.
You can tell them as soon as
You can tell them as soon as they're able to understand the concept that your DH was with someone else and had a family, and it didn't work out, and now he has a family with you. I think the younger they are when you tell them, the less it will be a big deal...they'll ask a couple of questions and you'll answer, and then they'll be on to the next thing.
Well, right now bioson is
Well, right now bioson is 2.5, and I am still pregnant with my second bioson.
We don't EVER refer to my
We don't EVER refer to my son, or my SDs' other siblings, as "half" siblings. They're just siblings. We are very upfront about the fact that I'm not the bio-mom (sounds like my situation is similar to yours) and my DS is only 8 months old, but I'm not sure it will come up until he's 3 or 4. That's when the girls started understanding it a little more.
Yeah, i certainly wouldn't be
Yeah, i certainly wouldn't be calling them/refering to them as half brother and half sister. I just want to make sure that biosons are aware of the situation.
We've never brought up the
We've never brought up the term "half-sibling". He knows I'm not his mom, but that I'm mom to our BD. In fact he has no problem telling anyone who'd mistake me for his mom "she's not my mom-she's my little sister's mom"- to which half the people get even more confused because SS looks more like mine than BD does.
"Half-sibling" is the term you bring up when you're doing family trees in school- like 2nd grade. So long as when they get older they know their older siblings have a different mom (i.e. woman who gave birth to them)- you'll be fine.
Do it as soon as possible
Do it as soon as possible before it causes problems.
My SD15 (then almost 6) learned about being half-siblings with her older brother and sister when they were taken into emergency foster care after their mom was arrested. DH went to pick up his daughter and she had meltdown over why he couldn't take her older half-brother and half-sister too. (Legally, he couldn't, he wasn't their father). She's still pissed off about this.