Why does SD still lie to BM
So we had another great weekend! It gets better every time. It's so crazy now because SD clings to me more than DH. She is constantly at my side. We had a lot of fun doing all sorts of things, painting, watching movies, hanging out, etc.
So yesterday was her musical at church. I had been helping her with her lines and talking about it all weekend with her. Sunday rolls around and I asked if it would be ok if I came, and she says something about BM going and she didnt think we were coming. So decided to back off and let her decide on her own when she would want me to be involved in functions. Then she told BM that she did her science project all by herself when I helped her through the majority of it. BM knows I'm into art and figured I helped her with it.
SD continously lies to BM about our time together. I completely understand she doesn't want to hurt her feelings but she is making BM think she is unhappy and she's not! Any suggestions on how to handle would be great!
Thank yall!
The kids here would leave us
The kids here would leave us out of discussions w/ their mom about things we do together. We talked at dinner one night about how it is ok to tell BM things that we do. We told them that there is nothing at our house that they need to hide. We also told them that we and BM want to hear all about all parts of their lives. (We probably shouldn't have included her because I don't believe that she wants to hear about things we do here - that's another story) So we basically told them that it was ok to tell us about BM and her BF, activities they do together and basically, things that happen to them no matter where they happened to be.
In other words, maybe she needs to hear that it's ok for her to talk about all aspects of her life. Her BM and your DH don't love each other, but they both love her. That's how we put it to the kids, anyway. WE took for granted that the kids knew it was ok. Apparently they didn't, and they haven't been as secretive about stuff that happens at their mom's.
We don't tell them that to snoop or know what BM does when she isn't w/ the kids, but we ARE interested in them. We also want to start a foundation now for them to be open and honest with us as they grow older. We repeatedly let them know that they can talk to us about ANYTHING. (which has brought on some funny conversations)