First off, not all kids from divorced homes are the same. Plenty go on to do very well.

But it is considered an "adverse childhood event" - and a lot of kids from divorced homes lose contact with their fathers, and end up in a lower standard of living with a stressed out single mother.  It's popular on here to think kids of divorce should just "get over it", but it does affect many people very deeply.

Most of the stories you hear on here? Yes, damage comes from coddling parents, or alienating parents, or both.  Some people get remarried quickly without thinking about their kids needs at all.

Idiot parents.

They put themselves above the family. Put themselves and there happiness above making a home for there kids.  So how do you expect the kids to turn out.  It's was know to them early on, it's every man and woman for themselves.  either  kids demand loves and attention for themselves, or parents will take it all 

I think my SD7 should be OK, because up until a couple weeks ago she didn't even know her parents were divorced. Somehow the topic of divorce came up, and she was talking about other kids whose parents were divorced as if her own parents weren't. I reminded her (or thought I was reminding her) that her parents are divorced too, and she was shocked.  She was like "daddy was married before you? And mommy was married before SF?" I guess she never understood that her parents were married to each other. I was just shaking my head. If it had been SD4, I might have understood, because she was barely a year old when her parents separated.  I'm thinking neither DH nor BM ever mentioned divorce to the skids, even though they clearly understand their parents aren't together.

Ex and I are divorced and our DD has zero issues. There are plenty of losers who were raised in intact families. No correlation  

Spoiled by the guilt. Wrong partners chosen to procreate, early mariages / parenting with people not realizing what parenting is. And you name it 

What tog said:

Look into ACE's. ACE stands for adverse childhood experiences. A major study in the 90's found that people who had multiple ACE's suffered from an increased risk of a range of negative outcomes into adulthood. Other studies since then have had similar findings. One of the adverse experiences is divorce or separation of parents. Studies find that most people have had at least one ACE (around 60% of people in studies) but from what I can tell (from my limited googling) the risk of adverse outcomes increases significantly for people who have experienced 3 or more (about 20-25% of study participants). 

Increased numbers of ACEs correlate with increased risks of injury, more mental health problems, unplanned pregancies, complictions with pregancies, higher risk of getting infectious diseases (including STI's, HIV), increased occurance of chronic diseases (cancer, diabetes..), increased likelyhood of risky behaviors and addictions and reduced opportunities in terms of education, occupation and income. Life expectancy has also been shown to be lower for those with more ACEs.

One way that has been suggested for countering negative outcomes for individual children who have experienced multiple ACEs seems to be strong relationships with adults that they trust and who can be relied apon and from whom they can learn skills to help their general resiliance. They learn the skills best in these tyoes of relationships where they can gain emotional learning in safe, stable nurturing relationships.  

On a societal level programs that reduce inequality and focus on aiding parents and families are what have been focused on. Though studies show that ACEs affect all sections of society. 

I think that there are probably more stepkids talked about on here that have multiple ACEs than some would imagine and many who find it difficult to form the kind of nurturing relationships with stable adults that can help counter these expereiences. 

I think that kids with major behavior problems and bioparents with major dysfunction are probably overrepresented as subjects on this site compared to the general population. I had been divorced for 10 years and once before dated a divorced father, and i didn't have any issues with my own or the ex SO's kids in the past that would have led me to a site like this. It was only after getting myself into a very messed up situation that i did the google searches that led me here. 

SD23 has a mental issue...a diagnosed one. That is why she is what she is.

So - I would like to state that trying to find a correlation between Divorce and messed up kids is a moving target, with a complex algorithm.

Simply put, however, Toxic People are more likely to produce Toxic Offspring. The children pattern themselves after what the parents present. That or they have DNA-prescribed pre-disposition. The kids have to WANT to be different. But there are so many factors, and one of them we dont really talk about here is perspective.

Like, what if we ARE the crazy ones. What if we have unrealistic expectations. What if the kids we cannot stand to be around are ANGELS.

I always have said this to SD13 - her parents had a toxic relationship that broke up their marriage. Just because they divorced, the toxicity didnt just go away and evaporate, it stuck around and continues on, due to shared custody schedule and her being a minor. 

SD21 Feral Forger always likes to blame everything on the divorce. The lies, the stealing, the filth, the rudeness, the check forgery. Its ALL because of the divorce...

I am divorced and have 2 children.  They are now very well adjusted and confident 18 yr old and 15 yr old.  Yes, they have issues but none that would not be expected from an intact family with a father that is Bi-Polar.  My 18 year old s recieveing recruit ment letters from the top design schools in NY and my 15 yr old is preparing to graduate from high school and enter the military.

Now my ex-SO his daughter is a bucket of entitlement and selfishness and immaturity.  I really believe the difference is the parents willingness to identify, acknowledge, and address the problem before it grows to a troubled adult.  My children have been held accountable for each and every action they took good or bad.  His daughter never had any consequences for her actions until her social media was reflecting her true personality.  Still both her parents did not hold her accountable and instead blamed the other children, 2 entire High Schools, and the Faculty.  I mean truly if you make racially degrading comments about black people to black people you should expect to have problems with them.  But no their precious daughter was not to blame and now they are paying the price for allowing her to become thismonster.  She is 15 yrs old and ran away from home twice.  the second time she has not returned at all after a month of being gone.  She believes it is her right to demand being treated with respect when she constantly disrespects every one no matter what they do or say.  She was raised by her welfare bum BM and still believes she has some superiority that entitles her to the whole world stopping what they are doing and start kissing her a$$.  Do not believe it is just divorce that causes this behavior in stepkids.  Believe it is the parents.