What one thing do you fight/disagree about the most with your SO?
And how do you deal with it and/or avoid it?
When we first got together, this was BM for us. Mostly because she was so angry/bitter/jealous that she set about inserting herself directly between DH and I. I refused to let that happen, and every time I felt like DH was giving in even a tiny bit, we would fight (I use the term "fight" mildly). But as time has gone on, and my insecurities with being the "second wife" have waned, and she has "accepted" that I'm not going anywhere, it's pretty much a non-issue now.
Now we argue more about money or financial matters. He pays all of his bills, but he's not very debt-adverse either. He would gladly rack up a credit card for something he really wanted. Our solution? Our finances are completely split. We have worked out who pays which bills (I make double what he does, so we pay proportionately to income) and timelines for savings vacations, etc.
This has helped a lot, but it still irks me that while I save extra month for emergencies, etc, he will blow any leftover cash he has from a paycheck. So when he's down to his last $100 and he asks me to go out to dinner with him, I can't help but feel a little aggitated .. and it's a TERRIBLE feeling because I know his intentions are to just spend time with me and do something nice for me .. and I feel like a complete b*tch for even thinking about the money in those moments .. but I do. The curse of the accountant, I suppose.
Is there a particular reason
Is there a particular reason you are continuing to publicly attack me?
Right. And I hatched out of
Right. And I hatched out of an egg yesterday. If you have a problem with me that can't be resolved via private emails, I would suggest you just stop reading what I post.
I have previously messaged you privately to apologize for offending you, and have told you today that I will stop responding to your posts since we apparently can't seem to work past our personality differences. Again, I apologize for anything I've said that you found offensive or condescending.
I don't think DH is too
I don't think DH is too terrible about it .. I mean, we DO save. It's budgeted in as part of his "bills" .. we each contribute "x" amount to savings (both general and for specific items). Plus, his job offers a full pension after 20 years of service, so his retirement goals are a little different than mine (he likes to think that will be enough to live on LOL).
I think it's more of a control thing for me .. I'm an accountant and a pretty successful one at that .. so I feel like money is my domain .. but he's a grown man, perfectly capable of handling his money day to day. Hence the reason we sometimes fight about it .. I'm a long-term thinker, he's more spontaneous.
But you are right .. a financial advisor (or anyone independent of our situation) would probably work wonders for his thought process!
Well, when all the kids lived
Well, when all the kids lived with us... it was the kids. Actually, it was 5 of the 6 kids. By the time we married and lived together, SS was 18.
I had my 3 bios, my SD from my first marriage, and my SD from my 2nd marriage.
4 of the 5 were teens. OMG. DH and SD had lived with different rules than I had in my house. (READ: I actually HAD rules and consequences.) Holy hell, it's a miracle DH and I aren't divorced. I'm not a fighter, I almost never raise my voice or say things out of anger. The girl could drive me to no end, and DH just couldn't manage to discipline her. :sick: DH and I had discussed and agreed on rules ahead of time, but enforcing them was another issue. SD flat out said that she wouldn't live with "my" rules since she knew her dad didn't really care. It got to the point where all she had to was NOT cuss like a sailor and COVER UP in front of my teen sons. SD LOOOOVES her boobies, and the more that show, the better! (Even still.) Sorry, my teen sons don't need to be staring at your entire breast at the dining table. Ew.
Well, she wound up throwing a MAJOR fit, and DH told her she was welcome to stay with her mother and come over if/when she felt like it. I disagreed with him and thought a child should do what is expected and not get a choice, but oh, well. They are still working on repairing their relationship.
Now? Hmmm...still kids. Whenever he says something about my kids, I have to stop myself from telling him he raised his kids and they SUCK, while mine are doing pretty damn well. We go back and forth on the issues, and I always try to run things by him first.
Holy cow! I can't even
Holy cow! I can't even imagine what it takes to manage a household with that many kids!
My skids are young now, and we get along really well, but I know that could change. I'm hoping it doesn't, but at least I see that people still manage to make it through
We had similar struggles in the beginning too .. guilty dad and two baby girls who had him wrapped around their fingers lol ..
Finances are definitely the
Finances are definitely the main issue DH and I fight about. It used to be SD, but we have been together 3 years now and things have gotten better over time. I like the idea about taking your DH to a financial advisor- I might have to use that idea myself!
Right? Let someone else nag
Right? Let someone else nag him about all the money he blows