I'm posting here as I think this got lost in the blogs ...

Trying to make the five year story short... Two skids lived with BM. She was typical Golden Uterus. DH had about 45%. We came to find out after older skid had the guts to tell us ... She was neglecting them. Also emotionally abuse and occasionally hit with items when she was frustrated. DH was always Disney Dad.

I supported custody trial and we won. BM got ten hours a week and court ordered parent child reconciliation therapy with kids.

Life has become a nightmare ever since. One would think skids would be happy to be in a clean home with food, clothes, no hitting, no name calling - they can have friends over. Apparently not. Older SS is becoming more belligerent and defiant by the day. He does not want to visit with his mother and does want to go to the therapy. DH, SD and I are the ones to pay the price for this. He deliberately back talks, doesn't do what he is asked, and and generally acts like an asshole. Stays up as late as he wants... Texts and plays xbox at all hours.

DH tries to deal with this by yelling at the kid. It doesn't work or matter. Skid learned to tune out yelling a long time ago. I have had about 1 million conversations with DH that SS needs to suffer a consequence for his misbehavior. Take the phone, games, tv ... Whatever, don't yell, just take. DH will agree, during our conversation, but then when skid is bring a jerk, DH just yells and screams and I know SS is laughing inside because he knows he is wreaking havoc on our house and/or getting his own way.

Two days ago commence the worst fight of my marriage, because I tried to get involved. I just can't take watching this kid act like this and get away with it. SS comes in the front door from bus and doesn't take his wet, salty shoes off and walks all over the foyer and kitchen tile. I said "SS what are you doing? Take off your shoes, I JUST scrubbed that floor!" He looked at me and said ,"I ALWAYS do that" basically giving, me a verbal FU. SS drops his backpack on the floor and runs to his room. DH scolds me for always yelling at the kid (this from the man who doesn't know how to speak any other language than yelling) DH did make SS come wipe the floor at least.

Later DH had to battle for 15 minutes to get SS to go with BM for visitation. He wouldn't take his homework along. DH gave empty threats of taking his phone (didn't do it of course). When SS came home, what did he do? In through filthy garage, up light carpeted steps in his shoes, which he took off at the bottom of the steps and left the there to be tripped over. This was not teenage forgetfulness. This was deliberate, I am mad you made me do something I didn't want to do, plus the bitch SM yelled at me earlier, so I'm doing it again.

I of course told DH to deal with this. SS won't come out of his room. Ten minutes. He comes out. DH tells him to apologize to me. His back was to DH. He says sorry with a smirk. I was soooo pissed! We both have the usual conversation with kid about how he has to visit with his mom, he needs to be appreciative, blah, blah, blah. His answer to all of this was: "the longer you make me stand here,the longer I can't get my homework done" DH let him walk away, phone in hand.

DH comes downstairs to complain to me about how SS won't listen to him about how to his homework. I flipped my lid. I said I didn't want to hear about it one more effing time! That I wasn't taking the kids disrespect anymore! I said I'm changing the wifi password, because I pay the internet bill and I provided the router. DH said I better not dare. I said I was ... Because where he might not have the balls to dole out a consequence, I did. I did it... But it was a mistake, because all I did was make DH furious with ME. He screamed, yelled, threatened for me to change it back. I kept saying no...he kept getting more mad, his threats more awful. I went to bed. DH eventually reset the router back ... I don't know how he figured it out.. I have the admin password. He set it back to original password, so Prince SS probably has no idea he didn't have Xbox live access for a short period of time.

Now... Things are very... Cool between DH and I. I got a massive migraine from the stress of that episode. I have listened to SS smart mouth away from behind my bedroom door and do all that he wants, when he wants. I am sure SS is thrilled to death that I have been out of his hair. SS controls his daddy. This kid is 14 and DH has ZERO CONTROL of him now. What is coming down the road?

Oh and there is a 12 year old girl in this house who's mother obviously doesn't like her. Her father only pays attention to her brother. Daddy has always been allll about SS . I bet she feels like she has no one. It's not fair.

DH has ruined both of his kids. He has just about ruined our marriage. I don't want to be here. Anytime I "disengage" I get yelled at for "hiding" away from them. I really feel like I am in a no win situation.