Time to Cinderella the kid!
So basically, SS11, is way over spoiled, over entitled, and fights with DH about doing chores. He is the oldest of 4 children, and gets away with doing the LEAST amount of work, while he receives more benefits than anyone making him spoiled, and over-entitled. DH agrees it's his fault for allowing this to go on, and he now wants to nip it in the bud. I know I'm supposed to stay out of it... but I thought it would be ever so much fun to post this to the forums, and see what we might come up to insist upon a major attitude overhaul change. SS11 dearly loves his video games, and pretty much has no desire to do anything but spend his entire time here in the basement, playing his games, and annoying the other 3 kids that dare enter his presence. He has a computer in his room, a tablet he uses, Xbox 360, Xbox 1, and several others he uses, television and movies, cell phone etc. He takes no incentive to help, and argues and half-asses anything we ask him to do. He fakes sick, makes other plans, does anything he can to weasel his way out of any responsibility around the house. Again, DH accepts total blame for this, and will be 100% in charge of taking care of this.... but I thought some suggestions and support might be helpful and fun.
Okay?
GO!
Wait, what?? Wow. "He has
Wait, what?? Wow.
"He has a computer in his room, a tablet he uses, Xbox 360, Xbox 1, and several others he uses, television and movies, cell phone etc."
If it were me, that stuff would be out of his room and crummy behavior like that would result in a serious lack access to the rest of it. My partner's twins are only 5 and even they know how this goes: if you don't follow the rules, you don't get toys. Maybe it's time to treat him like a five year old...
How much time is he at your house? Is there any chance that BM is going to undermine any discipline measures?
TOTALLY AGREE! I have a 5
TOTALLY AGREE! I have a 5 year old, and he acts VERY similar at times. He's at our house 50%, and BM will be a tyrant when it comes to us disciplining him, but it has to be done. What's annoying is BM is so much harder on him for stupid crap, but the second we try and do anything discipline-wise, she gets all "poor baby and those horrid people" on him. She totally plays into it. We never do with her. She sux.
All of the toys need to be
All of the toys need to be taken away and have him earn time with them with a time limit.
My SS7 does homework and then chores before outside play, video games, and/or TV. No exceptions. If he acts like a lazy bugger at school, then a privilege is take away for the day.
Bad behavior does not get rewarded. No exceptions. If my SS throws a fit about being asked to do something, then he doesn't get extra play time or screen time - which he loves. He hasn't thrown a fit in 2 years.
Consistency is really important from the dad - even when it's inconvenient for him.
Thank you! I totally agree.
Thank you! I totally agree. The sad thing is DD8, SS8 and DS5 all come home and without being asked: Grab a snack, do their homework, and if no homework, read 20 minutes and practice math flash games and get straight to making bed and tidying their rooms. SS11 could never be bothered. I'm actually so thrilled he's going to middle school this year, it's made it ions easier to get the littler 3 into this routine. They're home an hour before SS11.
Daddy needs to take all that
Daddy needs to take all that crap away except when actually doing homework. The kid is headed for failure in real life like so many others of his generation.