I needs some thoughts/prayers/advice for this coming weekend, please!

After last weekend's big blowout, I discussed the situation with my therapist and also with DH. Here's what I/we came up with:

Therapist's suggestions:

* Kids do not come to our apartment. They (SD12 and SS16) prefer to stay in the upstairs apartment with their cousins, so let them.

* INVITE them for one meal, after which they will be expected to clean up and then leave to go back to their cousins' apartment.

* If they leave their things all over, put them in a bag and hide them somewhere for a month or so.

My rules that I posted on the refrigerator:

* (1) Let (rubia) sleep! (2) If you use it, clean it.

Strategies DH and I came up with:

* I will not have any responsibilities for DD12 and DS16. When DH is not here, they will stay upstairs and be the responsibility of their aunts/uncles and him.

* When he is working, I will be responsible for DD7. DH will come home between 5 and 6pm. If he comes home later, I am free to send her upstairs to her cousins' house and will not be responsible for her.

* DH wants me to put DD7 to bed between 9:30 and 10:30pm

* I will not be responsible for any of the cousins.

* If I have a problem with something, I should call him and let him take care of it.

* If I am sleeping or trying to sleep and anyone is making noise, I should tell him and he will take care of it.

* I will teach DD7 to be responsible for herself and her things.

* If I have any problems with DD7, I should call DH.

What are your thoughts on all of this? Anything else I should include? Anything you think will just not work?