I do think that "water seeks it's own level". But I strongly disagree that it is all about looks. In my world it usually has more to do with intelligence, personality and education.

For example I knew a really handsome man with an unbelievable academic pedigree and a major career who married a lovely well educated woman (also with a great career) who had a horribly disfigured face from a fire accident. They have now been happily married for over 40 years.

I know so many not so attractive women who are intelligent and fascinating who have "married well". Same thing with men. When I was in grad school decades ago I remember a professor who was unbelievably ugly - until he opened his mouth. He was just fascinating.

I do think that people often married above or below themselves - but it is not always about how they look.

OK, I'm going to throw this out there, and this applies to both men and woman. This is something my brother said about his own son, who has been married once, divorced, and has a total of five children from three different women. He is not rich monetarily. But, his mom and step-dad are loaded. My brother said, "When you think with your wee-wee, that is what happens."

I totally agree with Danielle on this.

Looks can fade or change, so that's not something one should count on forever. I think there needs to be an initial attraction, but the looks factor isn't as important years later. For me, at least, a person with a great personality is much more attractive than simply a handsome man.

My DH always said he had very high standards, and used to be proud that his cousins would wonder how he always dated such beautiful women. He told me early in our relationship that I was lucky to be with him. He felt he was a commodity; a man who was good-looking, single, successful, and active. I am much younger than DH, and his looks were ok but didn't make me drool in the beginning, but I was looking for someone with a good education. Before we married, DH used to say to me that he was worried how he would feel about me if I ever gained weight. (Seriously!) He admits to being shallow.

We have been together 11 years now. After 3 babies in a row, I am rather unhappy with my body. After all this time, it's only now that DH says to me that HE'S the lucky one. He can't believe I was available when we met, and can't understood how things didn't work out with any of my ex-boyfriends. He doesn't say much about my looks anymore (can't blame him!) but he will say I'm still very pretty, but he talks all the time about the person I am, and how I am so accepting of who he is.

For the record, he earns about triple what I make. I can live very comfortably on my own, but he makes a whole lot more. We are very compatible with how we handle money. He did pay extra for his daughter, but I learned to get over it because it didn't affect our lifestyle. I don't think people need to be similar earners, but at least have similar spending habits, if that makes any sense.

BM has many, many, many unattractive qualities and is a gold digger and personality disordered. She's also very beautiful. DD2's dad impregnated her the first month he knew her and he's been suffering greatly for it for 18 years now.

I had an English High School teacher who really drove that point home to me in 11th grade when we were studying Pride and Prejudice. Mr. Bennett married Mrs. Bennett because of her looks but looks fade and he was stuck married to a mean, stupid woman. Elizabeth and Jane inherited his intelligence but Kitty and Lydia inherited their mother's. I always remembered that in my twenties as I went through life looking for a partner as a warning tale. Some of us here on this board have spouses who bred with the Mrs. Bennett's of the world and didn't get a Jane or Elizabeth for offspring. They only got a Lydia and Kitty.

I myself married a fat, balding comic book nerd with glasses and I'm a tall, blonde beauty. I thought he wouldn't have a bad boy personality because he didn't have the bad boy looks. He was the worst cheater I've ever been with. HE cheated on me my entire marriage and I had to get AIDS tested while pregnant. I married Mr. Wickham who wasn't handsome. So there you go. But the good news is I get to go to my first Comic Con next month with my 7th grader who has inherited her dad's love of comics. I think that will be fun.

I am starting to see why one never should marry out of your own pond....

I think I get what you are saying lol...... I never should've gone for looks, I should've gone for some one with my upbringing... being a rebel years ago is biting me now

My DH happens to feel the exact same way as Paul....However, he says he married out of his league when he married me.
My DH is not what you would call a traditionally handsome man. He is on the shorter side, bald and chubby. It wasn't his looks that won me over, it was her personality, his sense of humor and his willingness to show his emotions.

I have met some of the women he has dated, and BM, and they are all attractive women. I feel I am an attractive woman, who can still turn heads but I never look at it as I settled or feel that my DH married out of his league. It also isn't about money, I make twice what DH makes, own my own home, cars and take care of myself quite well.

I have also dated some of the most amazing looking men I my time and they all turned out to be egotistical, selfish jerks.

However, In Gunner's instance, I do feel his DW is just a gold digging skank who refuses to compromise and feels her golden vagina will convince him to give up his kids for her. I hope he dumps her on her fanny.

Too bad Orange County wasn't still on the forum as I am sure he would weigh in on this one too. Paul has some valid points but really, if you aren't marrying for love and are just marrying for looks for, to move up, or for other poor reasons and your choice of partner, lets say isn't the greatest, what are the odds its going to work out.

DH has gone totally grey, he has what looks like a beer belly but is all muscle (like the clean and jerk weight lifters) and he has a chipped front tooth that he's too lazy to get fixed.
I'm a petite brunett who looks much younger than him.

I tease him all the time that when people see us together on the beach or out at a fancy resturant everyone thinks "That guy must have a lot of money."

Thanks for your thoughts, Paul. I have a friend who is a private detective so people come to him all the time looking for or wanting a partner surveiled. I remember he once said women will come in and describe a man of X height, Y hair color and cut, Z build, with Q distinguishing feature. It will be quite accurate and my friend the detective can recognize this person right away.

Men, on the other hand, will come in and say, "Don't worry, you'll know who she is right away: she'll be the most beautiful woman there!"

Then my friend says, "They are always wrong."

So whether or not the soon to be ex Mrs. Gunner is truly out of Gunner's league or whether his assessment was made from his heart, we'll never know.