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Things With Stepdaughter Mounting

NewBeginning's picture

I can feel and see things REALLY getting bad between stepdaughter and I. She is due with her baby in about a month or less. She is almost 20 years old and acts like she's 10 - calls her dad "daddy", sits in his lap and whines while babytalking...and all the while gives me looks of death for being near him.

Now - keep in mind all this is happening while NOTHING is being said to me - I can just feel the rising tension. I'd have to be nuts to not feel it. I've talked to DH and he admitted that she told him that she feels he hardly sees her since he moved to my city which has been over a year now. We got married this past February and she was just the happiest camper...or so I thought.

I looked on her facebook and she had said she felt she lost her father due to some 'girl'. But yet won't confront me on it - if she's talked to her father about that he sure hasn't told me.

I'm not really sure how to handle it or even if I should handle it. DH knows she's a huge drama queen and that she feels her mother does no wrong - she's just like mommy. The difference between her mother and I are too many to list. She does not work, lives off the state, parties like she's 16, sells pain medication that she gets prescribed, grows marijuana, dresses like she's 12 and is 40, and cheats constantly.

Her mother can't stand me - gee, I wonder why? Maybe if I was Courtney Love we'd get along great. I work full time, pay my bills, am a very decent human being...nothing like this raving lunatic.

Her baby is due soon and I DREAD the upcoming times I have to sit and listen to her whine and look at her crackwhore mother acting like she's just so happy when she's about as retarded as a mule. I wish I could feel more happy about the baby but I see it as more attention grabbing...more drama...more ways to whine that she doesn't see her father and somehow it will be due to me of course. I have no plans on babysitting all the time for her when she acts like she does..she thinks her mother is so great then let her stop her partying and take care of it.

That poor baby is going to get thrown into a world of total confusion. Her mother is a psychotic liar, attention seeker, and huge drama queen and his grandmother is going to be like something from "One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest".

I guess I'm needing advice on how to just ignore it all..how do you ignore it when you feel it...you see it...yet your DH wants to blind himself to how his daughter is so childish? Selfish? A liar? Drama Queen? He knows how she is yet chooses to say she's an adult and he can't control her?

She and I are so different and I used to really care about how she was...but once she became just like her mother...I can't hardly stand the sight of her.

Advice?

tugofwar's picture

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Does SD live with you and will she and the baby be living with you? Gee I hope not. That is my biggest fear my kids getting pregnant as teens and living in my home although the rule right now in the home is you get pregnant you will give birth to the child and give the child up for adoption.

NewBeginning's picture

No she doesn't live with us..thank the Good Lord.

I pray to God that she finds herself busy with the new baby and leaves our marriage the heck alone. Her problem is she felt she had to take care of 'daddy' when he divorced her mother and he no longer needs that care. And 'daddy' has failed to tell her that. A lot of this is stemmed from a very guilty and clueless father. He helped create this monster that is now an adult so I not only look at her for her problems..he is a HUGE factor in this, so when I get mad he usually gets my wrath first.

He feels that if he ignores it, her behavior will stop. Somehow she'll grow up. She came in my home yesterday and I could feel the hairs on my neck stand up just from having her here. Her whiny ass voice is enough to make me want to jump from a 6 story building. I can almost bet she's been stealing from me as well..can't prove it fully but I've caught her in my room with no reason to be there and things have ended up missing.

You would think a baby would cause a family joy..it only makes me feel an ulcer coming on due to having to smile when I feel I could snap her neck in 2. I feel sooooo sorry for that child...he has no idea what his world will be like with a mother that is that self absorbed and drama ridden. My guess is he'll be run to the emergency room each time he sneezes and will have some death defying disease once a week so we can all stand around the bed crying because she says he's sick.

Very sad description but I've seen all that happen with her..all of it. Family members gathered around a hospital bed while she whined she was sick as a dog and the hospital found nothing...MANY times. And finally told her if she came back they'd have her admitted to a loony bin.

That poor child.

onlynormalone's picture

When all is said and done-she doesn't live in your house and when your done with her-shut the door and enjoy your life with your husband! She's 20 and your free of the ex and really of the SD. If your husband lets her disrespect you shame on him. Its always nice to have a peaceful relationship-but sounds like with her-who needs any kind of relationship! She's grown and has flown the coop! Say-la-vei (sp)