The things he says....
SD13 is raging with surly hormones and I already posted about her getting a fresh mouth with me. I won't tolerate it.
Well, I mention to my boyfriend that a lot of my friends have said their teenage girls went through the same thing when the hormones started kicking in too. I say this so he doesn't think his daughter is the only one doing this. My own daughter never did this with me, I know I got lucky.
His response? "Well, if this is all hormone driven, isn't it wrong for us to yell at her?"
Well, now I have to parent HIM once again and lecture him about how no, you don't let her get away with it. She has to learn that no matter her mood, it's not acceptable to talk to people like they're dirty or be insulting because she feels like it.
Sometimes I so want to disengage, but then I have to think that I might be the only thing that helps teach these kids right and wrong. BM certainly doesn't as she decided they were grown up at 12 and they're learn on their own. She is very immature for her age. The school has brought it up several times too so it's not just my thought. I had to explain to him that although she wants toys that are for ages 3-6, you don't get them because you can't be helping hold her back emotionally and that even though SS13 wants shoes 2.5 sizes too big, you can't let him have them because he walks like he's wearing clown shoes.
It tiring teaching him and the kids.
SD12 has diabetes AND
SD12 has diabetes AND hormones AND "anxiety" and is the poor, poor, child whose parents split up 7 years ago, therefore it would be unreasonable for anyone to ask her to behave decently to others, not ruin family outings, do something other than be on the computer, go to school, etc... RIGHT? -- says FDH
SD12 has diabetes AND
SD12 has diabetes AND hormones AND "anxiety" and is the poor, poor, child whose parents split up 7 years ago, therefore it would be unreasonable for anyone to ask her to behave decently to others, not ruin family outings, do something other than be on the computer, go to school, etc... RIGHT? -- says FDH
^^^ Same for SS18. :sick:
I had a hard time controlling
I had a hard time controlling my hormones when i was going through that stage. My mom gave me st johns warts to help balance my hormones. Also starting her on birth control might help also. It is right to tell her what is acceptable behavior and what is not. However because you are just the girlfriend and not married that does make it hard. until you get married or your boyfriend clearly states you have the right to discipline her as a parent. You have to have boyfriends support because if not then everything will fall apart and skids will fight even more.
I don't think you should
I don't think you should allow her to be rude to you, but you don't need to be involved in her discipline at all. Being "Dad's Girlfriend" already makes you enemy #1, you don't need to give her more fuel.
If your boyfriend wants you
If your boyfriend wants you for the long haul, he'll start taking your opinions into account. He needs to realize that you have the best interest for his kids in mind and if he isn't wiling to take that into account, you're in for a long and annoying ride.
My DD had horrible periods
My DD had horrible periods and PMS so when she started acting up she was immediately sent to her room. I would tell her she was grumpy and sick and needed to learn to control her emotions so until she started feeling better she was quarantined to her room.
She would read, watch tv, clean her room, rest or sleep until she felt better. Usually one or two days a month. Of course, she came out for meals and to go to school.
Eventually, she learned to just go to her room when she felt bad instead of taking it out on everyone else.